I was always really close to my mother. And I could argue that it was for a number of different reasons, but in reality the biggest reason was probably that I did not know my father very well. I was only four when he left for the war, and unfortunately, he never came back.
Two years after having heard no word from him, we received word that he was M.I.A. and considered dead. I was ten years old. Despite the news, my mother strapped on her own guns and she raised me and my sister Abby alone. She did a damn good job, as I look back on it.
Some would say she got lucky having two girls, saying something like, "Not having to deal with boys must be a relief!" Implying the difficulties of teaching a boy how to shave, or how to be a proper man. Fact of the matter though... she had all sorts of boy related problems to deal with over the years, without having boys of her own. My sister and I made sure that she maintained her wits and remained on her toes nearly all the time.
My sister had this one boyfriend who was really into the sneaking out after dark thing. Something my sister would continue to do for years after. The thing about this guy though was that he and all the other kids my sister hung out with, would sneak out to go skinny dipping down at the quarry.
Well, one night my sister snuck out and met up with her friends at that quarry, it was like the third time that week they had done so; Abby and I had no secrets since we shared a room, I pretty much knew everything all the time. An hour or so after she snuck out though, my mother left the house without word. My sister and her friends were mortified however, when a group of headlights suddenly exploited their embarrassment for both amusement and 'fuel for the flames'. My sister never lived that one down; being the daughter of the woman who rallied the other kid's parents together and ruined everyone's "secret" hangout.
Although I too found myself cleaning up after my younger sister, I was by no means the perfect daughter either. I had this one boyfriend who had me convinced skipping school and lying to my mother about staying at a girlfriend's house to go see a concert in a neighboring state, was a good idea. Let me tell you, that Eagles concert was not memorable because of their 'awesome' jams...
After the concert he dumped me, because I did not agree that dropping out of school to follow them on tour across America was the best idea ever.
"If you can't follow me and support me in my decisions then maybe you aren't the chick for me." He called to me out of his driver's window... right before pulling out of that parking lot and leaving me there alone, at night, in a different state.
No, mom was not happy about her unexpected eight-hour road trip, but she got in the car and came to rescue me anyway. She decided on the way home that having my heart broken and having to wait for her for four hours was punishment enough. In her eyes, I had plenty of time to sit and think about what I had done while I was waiting.
Sure, there were plenty of other disappointing situations we put our mother through as well, but there were good times too. Lots of them.
We took two trips a year, differing in lengths. We took a spring trip, about a week long and a summer trip, about three weeks long. And over the years we visited as many different American must sees and zoos as we could across the country. We went to the San Diego and Central Park Zoos, and saw the Grand Canyon, the Statue of Liberty, and Mount Rushmore. We even got to see Ken Curtis from "Gunsmoke" perform in the rodeo at the Iowa State Fair!
We were... good. I mean yeah, it would have been nice to have had my father around. For him to have seen me at prom and for him to have walked me down the aisle at my wedding, or even to have held my baby. But my mother was there us, and she was everything I needed.
I'm thirty-two now. I live in a nice little apartment with my own daughter. Who I raise alone, because when her father and I divorced he took off like neither myself or our daughter ever existed. Her grandparents send her cards on her birthday, but just like her father they show little interest in her life either.
We live just a few miles from my mother's, from the house I grew up in. She still lives there, with my sister. After she graduated from high-school my sister got her shit together and got her nurses license. With all of the sporadic hours she worked though, picking up shifts where she could, she decided to just stay at home with our mother since she had the room. That living arrangement ended up being more convenient than either of us had anticipated.
Three years ago our mother got sick and she could no longer live alone, my sister and I had to hire another nurse to come in and help take care of her while my sister and I worked. Having our mother fall apart before us began to drive a wedge between my sister and I, it was tough having to go through this and having your relationship with your only sister fall apart at the same time. Harder even now, since last week. Last week, our mother died. And today, we have to have to say goodbye.
