As I exit the unsuccessful trip, I meet everyone as we arrive back in Texas. We all decide to go somewhere to eat, we rush out of the bus, and all get into the restruant.
As everyone orders, I find myself staring at Harry. He turns towards me and I look away. But then I turn back and look at Harry while my eyes bore into him. "Are you mad at me?" Harry asks. "Yes," I am unable to say a lie. "Why?" He asks. "Because you verbally abused me last night." I say, and feel a tear escapes my eye. "Like what?'he asks and everyone turns to us. "You told me that the only way you first went out with me was because Niall and you had a bet. You told me I was a stuck up crab ass, that I was pathetic, you made me cry, you called me needy. Oh and this ones my favorite you called me a 'Snotty Rich kid'. You said you never loved me or even liked me." I say and his face drops. "I'm sorry." He tells me. "Whatever Harry, you can just leave me hanging and never tell me." I try not to cry. "I just can't even look at you right now," I speak to him. "Well you're gonna have to see me on tour." He smirks, "you're right. I quit." I state.
"What?!" Everyone says even Harry, "I quit. I'm not in the band anymore. I can't just keep letting you hurt me like this. I knew I couldn't fit with you. I need to do something important with my life. Not waste it being hungover by you, and frying every second." I say my tone serious and willing. "Goodbye," I say and step out of booth and leave to the bus to grab my things.
Paul was carrying my bags and stuff into the airport, as he handed me my last check. "I really wish you hadn't chosen this." He speaks up. He's always by me, because of death threats I have but I haven't actually heard him speak personally to me before. "Thanks Paul but, we all know that this would've happened sooner or later. I'm just getting a head start, then I can get my college education. Then get married, then have-" "alright alright I get it. Just forgive Harry. He doesn't think things through. You'll regret the thing you hadn't done than the things you've done." He says and hands me my boarding pass. "Goodbye Paul, I'll miss ya always being around." I chuckle. "I'll miss ya too. Good riddance." He speaks and I hug him goodbye.
I back put and walk to the plane which was boarding. I guess Paul has sorta been a father figure for me. I turn around hoping and expecting to see a mop of curls with the green eyes I endure but all I see is an old woman carrying herself slowly to down the terminal. I turn back around and I walk unto the plane, again hoping to see Harry. I need to stop expecting things to go perfect. I always had my doubts about how I felt. There was never anything concrete for me to grab hold of, but did I have these feeling about things, that things weren't quite right... One minute I was nobody. The next minute I was The famous cute girl who was also dating the famous Harry styles... it was just too much for one person to handle. I feel as if I'm a Media toy, like everyone just does this to play with me. What if people in Highschool actually hated me. They just followed my path because they didn't want to be burned down. Just like how everyone says I'm their idol, or hero. Nobody actually had a hero, they're just waiting for you to mess up and be imperfected. All this time fantasizing, dreaming, about someone you adore or look up to, you really just want to see the screw up. I can't be living a lie, as I told myself that love knows no security except insecurity. I created myself to be not so easily torn down or can be dominated within second from a tyrant or dictator. But really, I was vividly crazy to be thinking I'd become strong when really... I'm just so mad and angry at someone I shouldn't even blame. I did this to myself. I'm fragile now.
-
I choke back tears and waiting to land with light turbulence. Just like my relationship with Harry. Rocky road, except there were no rocks, no road. It was fake, flying with bumps. The devastation of thinking of Harry, thinking he was gonna chase after me. Hoping he wouldn't, but secretly wishing he had. My phone is off because the flight attendants said so, so I follow orders. I really need to quit expecting a fairy tale ending. God knows that all those stories are bad, making children think that everything will go ok. You really don't understand how thankful you are until you see the downgrade you could've dropped to. My inspiration is Princess Diana of Whales, she was such a kind young, woman, who wanted to help. There were lots of theories of her death, saying the paparazzi killed her, it was all an accident.
But personally I think the queen set it up. Diana, the woman who divorced her son, had found a new lover, and is doing better. Suddenly a crowd of paparazzi is chasing the limo, and know one knew where she was? Little Suspicous? Anyway, I decided to take on what she didn't finish.
I'm gonna travel around the world helping as much as I can with everything. With my last paycheck of 2 million pounds, I will be able to do that for awhile.
As I step out of the plane and go to the familiar girl holding a sign that read, 'L. Hemmings.' I walk closer and closer and realize.... It's Skylar.
I run to the sign and hug her. I escape the hug and we walk to her car.
-
I turn on my phone, expecting dozens of calls, messages, voicemails. But no. One message. From Louis.
________
From: BooBear
L, are you ok? Call me. Now.
Sent: 3:02 pm
___________
---Niall's POV---
I really need to call Lea, i do. Even if Harry is going to be an arse. Suddenly Paul comes in and gives me a letter. "I think you should read this." He says handing me the already opened letter. Ok, so when you send a letter or package Paul and some other staff open if before us to make sure there isn't any bombs, or anything dangerous in them.
Paul walks out and I look at the pale silver envelope, it's from America. The address says it's from a girl named Amaya. I take the small paper from the envelope making sure not to rip anything.
'Dear Niall, Liam, Zayn, Louis, and Harry,
My name is Diana Hendrickson, I'm from Minnesota. I get bullied daily, I'm anorexic, and I have depression. I cut myself everyday the longest I was clean was two days. No one likes me and I don't know why. I'm trying to stay strong and be confident but depression just pulls me further down then I was, Depression is like drowning while watching everyone breathe. I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of yelling. I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of pretending. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of being angry. I'm tired of feeling crazy. I'm tired of feeling stuck. I'm tired of needing help. I'm tired of remembering. I'm tired of missing things. I'm tired of being different. I'm tired of missing people. I'm tired of feeling worthless. I'm tired of feeling empty inside. I'm tired of not being able to let go. I'm tired of wishing I could start all over. I'm tired of dreaming of a life I'll never have. But, most of all, I'm just tired of being tired. You've all been helping me slowly, even how that girl named Lea brightens my day just by me watching her YouTube videos, she is amazing and I hope, Harry, you never let her go. It'd be the death of me . I'm dying inside, I smile once a week, But not as much as I'd like, I know you probably won't get this.. I just.. Needed to reach out and vent.. Goodbye. Thank you.
Love, Diana'
I could feel the weakness she had felt writing this as an idea popped into my head and I hummed a tune, jotting it down on a post it note.
-
As I handed my proud piece of paper to simon without the boys he nodded and smiled, gave me a 'Goodjob'. Before I headed out.
