Aren't We Allowed to be Happy? (A BigBang ToDae Fanfic)

Chapter One

(Daesung's POV)

"Daesung, calm down!" Jiyong told me, patting my shoulder as we sat in the practice room. "It's not like Top was ever gone with a movie filming before." I nodded my head, a signature smile reaching my face. Seungri and Taeyang were stared at me before going back to the computer they were working on.

"I know... But he missed concerts due to being in America, and we haven't seen him in months..." I said, sitting down on the sofa next to Jiyong. I was excited to see Top, but he had been kind of distent before he left. Normally at concerts we would mess with each other, and hang off of each other, but not at the last concert. At the last concert he was weird. Even the others knew it. When I went to hug Top at the concert, he almost pushed me away before going to the front of the stage to the fans. He was almost ignoring me. Later in the concert, he barely looked at me. It hurt my heart for him to do that... I guess I was just being sensitive...

"He Ji, come listen to this," Taeyang said, not turning around from the computer. Jiyong nodded, getting up from the couch to look at what they boys were working on. With a sigh, I pulled my phone out of my pocket, messing around on a game. Unlike the others, I didn't have a instagram or anything. I never saw it as something I had to get, even though it would be awesome to be able to be with the fans. I sighed again, locking my phone before moving to lay on the couch, my arm draped over my eyes.

Before I knew it, I felt a pressure of my stomach. I let out a groan as the person sitting on my stomach chuckled at me. I opened my eyes to find Seungri looking down at me. Taeyang and Jiyong were off in their own world of music composition, but the maknae was sitting on me.

"Get off..." I groaned, trying to push him off. Seungri giggled, not moving from his spot. With a small smile, I quickly started to tickle him.

"DAE! STOP IT!" Seungri complained through laughter. I knew where the maknae was ticklish, and he was powerless against me. I laughed, watching him struggle, since I had flipped him over to where I was sitting on his stomach.

"You give up?" I questioned, continuing to tickle him.

"YES! YES I GIVE UP!" He yelled trying to knocked me off. I laughed, tickling him for a few more moments before getting off of him. "You are a cruel, cruel man..."

"You started it, I was only finishing," I giggled, helping the maknae sit up on the couch. Taeyang and Jiyong didn't even move from their spot. 'They must be working on something important,' I thought to myself, going back to my phone.

"So... You excited to see Top?" Seungri asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows. Seungri had figured out my feelings for Top a while ago, because I apparently couldn't hide anything from the mischievous maknae.

"I miss him, so I am excited to see him," I replied, not looking up from my phone, even though I couldn't concentrate on it at all.

"Well, he's walking through the door right now." My head snapped up, and I could hear Seungri starting to laugh again, because there was no one at the door at all. I frowned, looking at him in anger. Before he knew what was happening, I was tickling him again. His white hair fell into his eyes as he laughed, unable to get out of my hold.

"Have you learned your lesson, or should I tickle you some more?"

"I learned... I learned... " He huffed out between giggles. I grinned, releasing him, letting him catch his breath. "Gosh... I need to stop talking..."

"You really do," I replied, moving to get some water. I wanted to go back home, but then I wanted to stay to greet Top when he returns.

"I just got a text from Top, his flight was delayed, so he will be coming back tomorrow," Jiyong told us, looking up from his phone. "So I guess we could all go home since he won't be here." My face fell slightly, knowing I would have to wait until tomorrow, even though it felt like I had been waiting for so long.

"Come on guys, let's go get some drinks?" Taeyang offered, turning the computer off.

"No thanks, I'm tired," I said, stretching to sell the idea that I was getting tired. Seungri knew I was upset, so a slight frown appeared on his face.

"Come on... A few drinks won't hurt," Seungri told me, and Jiyong nodded along, his signature gummy smile on his lips.

"Not tonight, have a good night guys," I said, grabbing my coat and leaving before they could say anything. I sighed as I walked through the building, putting my coat on. I couldn't help being angry at myself, knowing that Top would never feel that way towards me, yet I continued to focus on him. 'Get over him! You are both guys... It will never work...' I told myself, walking from the building to go to my car. Luckily it was late, and there were no fans in sight. It would be too much of a hassle if I had to deal with crazy fans at a time like this.

It didn't take long to get from YG to my apartment, and I hoped that it would be a short drive. I just wanted to get into bed, and curl up. I felt tired for some reason, and I had no idea why. We had had a break for a little bit, so besides the odd dance practice, we have been relatively lazy. It felt nice, but it would have been nicer with a certain tall rapper to spend it with. It felt as if I was never going to get over my crush. YG would hate us if we were in a relationship, and I didn't want to cause a scandal. BigBang had worked too hard to have it all come crashing down.

"Aish..." I said, turning my car off before walking into my apartment. I nodded my head in greeting to the doorman, walking towards my floor. I didn't feel like taking the elevator, so I took the stairs to the twelfth level, not caring. Once I walked into my apartment, it felt empty, and lonely.

"I should get a pet..." I said to myself, turning lights on, and the heat since it was freezing in the room. "Or maybe not... I can barely take care of myself let alone an animal... Maybe I should just get a pet rock, because you can't kill a rock..."

I grabbed a beer from my refrigerator, turning on the tv for some background noise. As soon as I turned it on, it was a preview for Top's new movie. "Great... I can't even get away from him in my own home..." I should have turned the tv on, but me being me, I couldn't take my eyes away from the slim figure of the dark haired man. I groaned, downing my bottle of beer before grabbing another one. I sighed to myself, turning on one of Top's movies, downing the other beer in my hand.

By halfway through the movie, I had gone through my whole case, and it was late in the night. I felt lightheaded. I was well past being buzzed, but I continued to drink. It was stupid on my part, but it didn't matter. The movie ended, and I somehow turned the tv off before trying to stumble to bed. I heard something break, but it did nothing to stop my trip to the bedroom. I just hoped that it wasn't expensive. With a loud sigh, I collapsed on my bed, still wearing the clothes I had come home in. My mind was at a loss as to what to do. I wanted to see Top, but I might not be able to keep my feelings at bay, and stop myself from liking him. My head hurt and I felt queasy, and I could already tell that tomorrow morning will be a living hell. 'Maybe I can just call in sick, and just stay home all day... That sounds like a good plan... ' With that I fell asleep, thinking of a certain rapper.

~~~~~

Author's Note,

Hey guys! Well this is my first BigBang fanfic, so please bare with me. I really wanted to write a ToDae fanfic, because they are my favorite ship of BigBang, and there aren't many fanfics focused on them. This may be awful, but I hope you guys like it. I will probably be updating once a week, because I have work and other things, so it will have slow updates.

I am free to comments, and ways to improve the story, so don't be afraid to message me or anything. I welcome the help.

I hope you guys enjoy!

Abby