Maybe This Time (camren/laucy)

Chapter 2

Lauren's POV

My head has been aching for the past five hours from trying to absorb everything that I'm reading for my finals. Learning new things has always been one of my favorite things to do but testing my intelligence through written exams makes no absolute sense to me. I mean how can a multiple choice question measure how much I really know? The educational system is truly fucked up in my opinion but since I need to get a degree then I don't have any choice but follow the rules and regulations.

It's almost been two years since I last faced the flashes of cameras. Two years since I've gone out to the public as a member of the biggest girl band in the world. Two years since walking away from the person who believed that I was the answer to all of her prayers. Two years since I saw the girl that still haunts me in my dreams up to this day.

I still remember landing in New York with no exact destination in mind. I only had my passport and suitcase full of clothes. When I was young, I've always dreamed of owning a penthouse apartment overlooking the city that never sleeps. Back then I thought that once I make my dreams a reality then I would be happy. But as I was standing in the middle of JFK airport with just my suitcase and a heavy heart, I realized that life is much more than your dreams when you were young. Having everything does not mean you're complete. Sometimes having everything results to you feeling nothing.

The first thing I did was find an apartment that's near the hustle and bustle of the city. I was here to find myself again and I won't let anyone stop me this time. When I found a loft that is spacious enough for my liking, I then applied to NYU University hoping to have a degree in Literary Arts. I put my dream of being a writer on hold because I thought music was my first love. But then again I was taken into a different direction. I wanted to make authentic music that resonates to everyone not bubblegum pop music that only appeals to teenage girls with raging hormones. That was the time when my love for music started dwindling down and I realized that I was in band because I have to be not because I wanted to be there. It came to a point that it was more of a job than passion.

My thoughts were interrupted when there was a knock on my door. I immediately stood up and closed my books then I put on an oversized sweatshirt to at least appear presentable. I was suddenly tackled into a hug when I opened the door.

"Babe, we just saw each other yesterday." Lucy only hummed in response and I felt her tightening her hold on me.

"I know, I just missed you a lot." All of my rampant thoughts ceased and all I can think about is how the hell did I deserve this girl after everything that happened. She was looking at me like I was the center of her universe. My heart couldn't help but melt whenever she looks at me with such love and adoration.

"I missed you too, baby. But anyway what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be studying for your exams?" She shook her head and leaned it to the side as if she couldn't believe that I was there.

"I'd rather be here with you, Lo." She cupped my face and kissed me so delicately. I feel safe whenever she's around. I can't help but fall in love with her all over again when she does things like this. She knows no boundaries when it comes to showing me how truly loved I am. She would always take pictures of me without my knowledge. She said that I look the most beautiful when I'm unaware of the attention being given to me. She's not the first one to tell me that I'm beautiful but she's one of the few who actually mean it with every fiber of her being.

"How do you do that?" I asked after a few seconds of just looking at each other. We always tend to just look at each other whenever we're together. It's like she knows my deepest fears and secrets by just looking at me.

"Do what?" She replied as she searched through my bookshelf full of my new books that I've recently purchased. That's the thing about us, we're like the same person in different bodies. We like the same genre of music, the same kind of art and the same sappy books. But sometimes I wonder if that's a good thing or not. Isn't love supposed to be painful and difficult? Then why is it so easy when it comes to Lucy?

"How can you see me as the most precious thing in the world? I'm just a long forgotten popstar now, Lucy. I'm basically a nobody." Doubts come and go in my mind and I can't help but feel that I'm going nowhere with discovering myself again. I'm not even halfway through the journey of getting back to my old self.

"Lo, don't say that. You are my everything and for me you're the most precious thing that has ever been mine. I actually ask myself every single day how someone like you can possibly love me. I have loved you since we were ten years old and I have no intention of stopping now. Not when I finally have you in my arms. Not when you finally chose me after years and years of running after you."

It still hurts knowing that I've never given her the attention that she deserves back then. I spent four years of my life being in love with someone who's emotionally unavailable. But now as I look at the girl standing in front of me, I finally felt like I was where I'm supposed to be. Lucy felt like home and I have no intention of leaving anytime soon. Maybe you were supposed to be hurt a million of times first before you get your fairytale love story.