Bruised Knuckles

15. the art of being gay

I couldn't believe it.
I was on my way to a Riverside party with Axel.

The car ride was quiet and didn't take nearly ten minutes as it usually does. However, this house was pretty damn close to the Brookland border.

When we pulled up, all the lights were off inside and most teenagers were in the gated backyard where the pool was. I was in Axel's clothes, still, because I didn't want to ask for another change. I felt so out of place, the second I shut the car door I wanted to crawl back in.

The house was magnificently lit by landscaping lights and everything had a subtle glow because of it. There were huge trees in the front yard that gently swayed in the warm breeze, masking part of the mansion that I was so eager to see more of.
Axel was so excited, practically running up to the gate. I followed him as fast as I could, slipping inside the unlocked gate when someone opened it for him. I was still over taken by the huge house that somebody called their home.

I could feel the music pump through my veins and teenagers jumped into the pool from left  and right. Red cups were scattered all over the lawn, some crushed against the grass and a few floating in the pool. I tried to stick by Axel's side, because by no means was Riverside a place I was comfortable in.

A girl soon swept against my side, smiling widely with a red cup in her hand, pressing it flush against my chest. "It's a skittle vodka slushie! Try it!" She left and quickly arrived again with a cup for Axel, too, giving him a green one which he immediately starting slurping.

I guess we were staying overnight.

Once we got settled in, Axel motioned me over to a pop up cabana with white Christmas lights lining the perimeter. We both took seats underneath it, and Axel leaned in real close to me. "So how do I find someone gay?"

I laughed and slammed my cup down against my knee, giving him a sarcastic glare. "I don't think anyone here is gay. I'm sorry pal." I wasn't just saying that, either, because all the guys I saw were glued to a girl and vice versa. Sure, maybe some were closeted gays, but with a girl that close to them the truth wasn't gonna come out tonight.

"So, what do I do?" Axel asked, leaning even closer to my ear than he was before, but not in a flirtatious way which made it a little uncomfortable. The music was loud, though, and I was just waiting for the police to show up.

"Drink," I told him while pointing to his cup. I raised my drink and slurped my vodka slushie, smiling afterwards as he watched me with a playful smirk. "Think you can outdrink me?" He swirled the contents of his cup around with his hand. I widened my eyes and shook my head, gulping down more of the slushie. "I'd never be able to outdrink you." That was the best lie I could ever tell him.

A few hours later we were both clearly drunk, and I didn't have the energy or the want to grab another vodka slushie. I had every color of the rainbow already and if I puked, it would probably be as black as my vision.

"Truce," Axel muttered in twisted english, drunk and sloppy. I nodded in agreement and hugged him, and for some weird reason, it felt right. He didn't let go for a long time but maybe we were both just really that drunk.

"You know, I think you're the only gay person I'd ever want to date. You're nice and you know how to party," Axel blurted out rather loudly. I began laughing uncontrollably, covering his mouth with my hand so he would quiet down. At the least, his words would be muffled. Most people were either inside or gone, so it didn't even matter what he said or what was revealed.

"Don't say that here, dork!" I exclaimed, laughter beginning to erupt from his mouth this time. I dropped my hand and we both just stood there laughing until the same girl who gave us drinks came back. "There's only one room left to stay over, you two gay twats want it?" The girl chewed gum really loudly between her teeth, seemingly sober as she spoke. Her black hat was backwards on her wet head from the pool. Her mood was totally different from four hours ago when we got here.

"Yes! We want it," Axel cried out as if this was an auction. The girl nodded and turned towards the house, yelling, "Last room is taken!" She turned back to us, "oh, there's a private bathroom in this one, don't get too nasty in the shower."

I blinked and saw her blurry face, abiding to whatever she meant about the shower because Axel and I were obviously not like that. I was even surprised she called us both gay. It took us a really long time to find the empty room, but we did after walking in on two couples having sex. I was too drunk to really appreciate the lavish interior I desperately wanted to explore earlier. Once in our room, there was only one bed.

"We can put pillows between us," I pointed out while pulling down the covers and sheets of the bed. Axel shut the door and shrugged, looking at me like I had three eyes. "Why would we do that?"
I didn't even argue his point, instead I crawled into the bed with his sweatpants still on. He took a shower and didn't even close the bathroom door, so I heard the loud thuds of water each time he moved.

Once he was done, he put his boxers back on in the bathroom, climbing under the covers right next to me. I could practically feel his skin brush against mine as we both laid there in that tiny, queen sized bed. The thought made it feel like it was actually happening. "Goodnight, Orion," He said while switching the lights off. "Goodnight," I told him, a bit slurred, wondering if we were going to have some sort of deep, drunk, late night conversation like in movies. My life was nothing close to a movie, so we both just drifted to sleep without saying any other words except goodnight. I guess this was a good way to not acknowledge we were both going to sleep in the same bed, inches away from eachother.

When I woke up, Axel was literally hanging off of the bed, all of the covers nudged and twisted around his body. I had a very painful headache which stung no matter where I looked, and my stomach was churning like the ocean.

I suddenly thought about skittles, and vodka, the acid in my stomach rising into my throat in a sickeningly sweet way. I swallowed harshly and held back whatever was trying to force its way out of my body.

Bad idea.

I ran to the bathroom, and thank god this room had its own bathroom, because I probably threw up five times. I heard Axel laughing outside the door while he softly knocked, "I outdrank you. Want a donut?"

"Fuck you," I spewed back at him, kicking the door with my foot as my stomach finally began to settle down.

I left the bathroom and used some mouthwash, my complexion almost like a ghost while I traveled downstairs. "Let's go home, now," I told Axel as he ate a donut and talked to a small group of girls in disgustingly cute pajamas.

"What? Why now?" His spirits were plunged down the toilet as I nodded towards the door, clutching my stomach.

"Please," I mumbled while he said something to the girls, winking at them, then turning his attention to me. "Let's go marshmallow."

I furrowed my eyebrows and slapped his arm lightly, following him to the door. I heard the girls giggling in the background. "Marshmallow?"

He nodded and held the door open for me, saying goodbye to everyone before it was shut, leaving Axel and I alone outside of the house. "You look like a marshmallow. That vodka didn't agree with you, sweetheart."

Axel started walking to the car but I just stood there, in one place. "Sweetheart?"

"Yeah, I'm trying my best to be gay. Work with me," He said while opening the passenger side door for me.

"It's working, I think," I smiled and sat down in the car. Axel looked down at me and cupped my cheek with his hand, brushing his thumb along my ridiculously pale cheekbone, "Good, because I'm not doing this for nothing."

I felt my face heat up like a lava lamp, my lip getting pulled back by my teeth. This was so unfair, and I wanted nothing more than time to just freeze directly where it is now, with Axel's hand against my face.

Who knows if it would be the last time.