empire ;; phan

the moon

the moon.

daniel howell had an empire built on self-pity.
he felt he had been living in a deathly dark shadow that was musky and suffocating. and because of this ignorance, he pushed his suffocating shadow onto others because he was far too weak to hold it himself.

he started his empire with bright light and happiness, but he was far too selfish to realise that his empire was beautiful and he instead altered it to what he believed would gain him success.

lies and darkness.
bitterness and anger.

his empire had once reflected his desires, but it now only reflected his fucked up state of ignorance.

in a late winter, a cold winter, daniel decided, one much colder than the usual depressing manchester weather, dan met phil. it was an accidental run in, in which phil knocked into dan, startling both of them. phil had the eyes of a million suns, dan believed, and dan told phil this everyday.

in the beginning he reminded phil of his beauty because it seemed to please phil and dan was so in love with this boy that every night he dreamed of phil's happiness. but over time, dan realised, he spoke of phil lester's beauty because it made dan look like a good person to the general public and perhaps to himself.

dan never really did love himself, although he never really did try. but now he didn't have a reason to try, because he had phil and dan felt no need to love himself whilst somebody else was doing it for him.