Random Short Stories & Little Plot Lines From My Head...

tears,

I slam the door shut to my room, the one so familiar. I feel tears roll down my cheek, racing to my chin just to fall off. I slide down the door, my flannel getting caught against it, but I don't care. The room becomes blurry as I try to blink the tears away but there are far to many for this to even work. I silently weep in the room of great ups and downs, the one where I learned to live. I've been here many a time and maybe this is the only time I hate it. I stare at the wall ahead of me, filled with posters and pictures of memories I hold dear; first dates, first friends, and first experiences. 

Wiping tears on my already drenched sleeves doesn't help the flow. I continue to pour tears from my eyes, the ones I never liked. I move my head forward, but only a little. Then I let my head fall back with force, causing my head to pound more. 

I stand up and walk around, pacing the room. I put my hair up in a bun, messy as it can be, because right now? I don't care. I continue to sob silently and then I think to myself. 

What did I do to deserve this? I did nothing, or did I? They're right. I'm just a stupid, ugly girl who can't keep her damn mouth shut. I hate myself, I mean, why shouldn't I? It's no wonder that Jared broke up with me, I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough for anyone; not even myself. He is doing so much better with May, they've always liked each other. How naive can I be, I brought this upon myself. 

I pace faster, heart beat racing. The tears roll and sound starts to come out. I choke on my own noises that fight to be loose. Finally, I can no longer hold the rest in. I have no control over the tears as the race now, fighting to beat the others to the floor. I sob, noises and all. 

Now I'm on the floor sobbing into the ground. I cry and breathe. Not really a breath though, more of a breath in and sob out. Now it's a routine. 

Shaky breath in, and a sob out. Shaky breath in and a sob out.

Then, all at once, I feel nothing. Everything stops. And the brown carpet slowly turns black and all at once gone. I felt nothing. 

just wanted to write my thoughts down before i forgot. it's short, i know, everything is with me, i'm sorry. yeah, i guess enjoy the dramatic retelling of my life on a daily basis.