*Graces POV*
After the night Chris took me to the lake things were different between us. We didn't have the same dynamic, and I was kind of disappointed. We used to joke around and make fun of one for liking the other, even when we didn't, but it wasn't like that anymore. Whenever Teddy made a joke about us, Chris didn't play off it. He didn't say anything to me about it either, so I just left it alone and didn't say anything. I didn't know what had happened, I thought everything was perfect. It felt like he wasn't even my friend anymore, like he just existed in my life but I didn't really know him. One day I went up to the tree house and much to my surprise Chris just wasn't there. I figured he was with Gordie or all three of them. An overwhelming sadness came over me, my chest felt hollow and I just didn't know what was happening anymore. Chris was always here, always. As if he was waiting for me or something. And today he just.... wasn't. I kind of collapsed into the chair and hung my head between my knees, I didn't even notice anyone had come up. When I felt someone lay a hand on my shoulder I had the slightest hope it was Chris, but I knew it wasn't. He knelt down next to me, "Hey, Cashman, what's wrong? Who's bothering you? You haven't been yourself lately." Teddy said to me, concern creeping into his voice more and more with every sentence. I tried smiling, but I knew it wasn't convincing, "Hey Teddy. Nothing I'm fine, where is everyone?" I asked trying to change the subject. "Oh so that's what this is about. Well if you mean Chris, I'm not really sure kid. Could be with Vern and Gordie, but last I knew they were going to hang with us today." As if on que, we heard the knock and let them up. I bent down to open the hatch but before I did I said to Teddy, "We'll finish this conversation later, okay? Now's not the time. I don't know if it ever will be." I muttered that last part and hoped he didn't hear. I opened the door and up climbed Vern and Gordie. "Long time no see." I said, trying not to let them know what was going on with Chris and I or really that anything was wrong in general. It worked, so goal accomplished. "Yeah, I could say the same to you, but not much has changed really." Gordie said, giving me the once over. I flipped him off. We sat around talking and laughing for the better part of the day. "Say Cashman, you figured out what our big summer adventure is going to be?" Vern asked. I shook my head, "Shoot kid, I was hoping one of yous would help on that." We all laughed. It was nice to spend time with them, I missed them. I just hadn't seen them much because I was too preoccupied with Chris, but now I'm not. It was dark and Gordie and Vern both said they should have been home long before now, we said our goodbyes and as soon as they were out of earshot Teddy wasted no time going back to our conversation from earlier. "So what's going on with you and Chambers? Don't try and deny it either, I know somethings going on." I just shrugged, "I don't really know to be honest, Teddy." "Okay, so explain what you do know." I told him about that last night we spent together, I even told him about when Chris looked disappointed after I told him he was my best friend. I'm not sure why, I mean it seemed so unimportant, but I just needed to tell him. I was compelled to tell him. He nodded and leaned back in his chair, "He's getting over you." He stated very clearly and simply. I was confused to say the least, "Teddy, he doesn't like me. We both know that. Our dynamic is just.... flirtatious for lack of a better word." He shook his head, "See I think you're wrong. Im a guy, I know how we work, and I think he likes you and after that he realized the feeling wasn't mutual and decided to try and get over you. Simple." I rolled my eyes, "Yeah real simple." I said sarcastically. "Wow Teddy, that was really deep actually. You're a good kid." He shrugged, "Yeah whatever." I laughed. "If you want I can talk to him. I mean if it bothers you that much." I immediately protested. "Absolutely not. I don't want him thinking I care." "But you do?" "Exactly." "What?" "I care that he's basically ignoring me but I don't wanting him knowing that, and he doesn't need to know that. Understand?" "Girls sure are weird." I laughed, "Yeah yeah, what would you do without us." He processed this, "I see your point." And then laughed. "Anyway, thanks Teddy." "No problem." I left and started walking home. It was dark but you could still see figures of people and if you focused hard enough you could make out who they were. I heard a girl giggle and looked over to see a girl and a boy roughly my age leaning against a tree. The girl had her back to the tree with her arms behind her, all cute and sweet, and the boy had his arm up over her head against the tree with the other resting on his hip, trying to be cool, nonchalant, and boyishly handsome, rugged even. I overheard them talking and the more I listened the more the voices seemed very familiar. I was staring intently at the girl, she looked a lot like Jezza, but I thought that couldn't be, she was still kind of Chris's girl. Even if it's not totally official. Only then did it occur to me that the familiar boy I saw standing next to her, sweet talking her up, treating her the way he used to treat me, was Chris. That same hollow, empty feeling I felt earlier that morning in my chest, had come back once again. I was doubled over gasping for air, feeling like I had just been blindsided. I realized I had lost one of my closest friends over two stupid fucking words, and I had no idea if I could fix it. I had no idea what to do, my world was spinning and I felt so disoriented, like I might faint. I started running, I wasn't sure where I was going, everything was a blur. I knocked into something and looked up. My legs had carried me back to the tree house, my safe haven. Teddy was still there, thankfully, and I tried explaining what had just happened in between gasps of air. "And then *gasp* I just realized *gasp* it had to be him and *gasp gasp* I didn't know what else to do and I freaked out and ran *gasp* and now I'm here *gasp*." "Okay, okay, calm down. You're going to have a panic attack and start hyperventilating if you keep breathing like that." "Bigs words today huh Teddy?" He just smiled. He wrapped a blanket around me despite the warm night and pulled me onto his lap and just held me there until I calmed down. I rested my head on his chest and focused on trying to get my breathing steady. After a while, probably an hour but I'm not really sure. I got lost in the vortex of time and I just kind of snapped back to reality. Teddy was lightly stroking my arm and back. I lifted my head up and he released me to get up. "Are you okay now?" I nodded. "Yeah, I really can't explain how grateful I am for you right now Teddy." "I understand." "Thank you." "No problem. If you're okay, I should have been home approximately four hours ago." I laughed, "What're we gonna do with you kid?" "I don't know," he said as he climbed down, "maybe ship me off somewhere." And he started laughing at himself. I just shook my head and smiled. I felt so physically drained from everything I just collapsed onto the floor and fell into a really deep sleep. No matter how upset I was, or what happened, I never cried. Through it all, I never once cried. Not a single fucking tear. I will never, ever, cry over a boy. Not in my lifetime.
