Reylo; The Dark and The Light

Chapter 16; Forbidden

SOME MATURE CONTENT/NSFW REFERENCES, LANGUAGE
Artwork (top right on edit) by Panda Capuccino on Tumblr and DeviantART.

Rey's POV
SOME MATURE CONTENT/NSFW REFERENCES, LANGUAGE

It was dark, where I was. I saw Ren, face reflected in moonlight, eyes both silver, hazel and golden all at once. I breathed his name, he smiled at me then kissed me, I close my eyes and got lost in an ecstasy, I felt his hands on me as if it was real- though a part of me told me it wasn't. I opened my eyes to see him looking down at me, arms either side my head. We were both naked, I closed my eyes as he lowered himself onto me- into me, we moved in a rhythm together. I heard him moan, the sound sent shivers down my spine- whatever this was, it felt real.
The sensations faded and the warmth of his body did too, I opened my eyes to darkness again. As I watched, I heard crying- both a child and a man. I realised as shapes started to appear, that the man was Ren, the sound of him crying broke my heart. He sat, back to me, shoulders hunched as he shook. I walked to his side, seeing that he cradled a baby in his arms, wrapped almost protectively around it. The child's crying stopped as I approached. I looked down, the baby gurgled and opened its eyes. I gasped- the girl had my eyes! Ren looked up, following her gaze. Upon seeing me, the look on his face was pure shock, his hazel eyes flew open wide, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing; me.
'R..Rey? It cannot be!' His voice trembled- there was a blinding flash and the child in his arms faded away, the cloth she'd been wrapped in took flight on a breeze which now ruffled Ren's hair. Ren whimpered; 'no...' He sounded utterly heartbroken. He tried to reach for me but as I looked down at my body, I felt myself disintegrating- I heard him scream my name, pure agony in his voice though not of physical pain.
Everything went black again, though unlike before it felt suffocating, threatening. A white light illuminated everything, fire was everywhere! I saw TIE-fighters and X-wings burning, Hux driving a knife straight through Leia's chest! Her eyes widened as she fell to the floor, Hux fell too- he'd been shot by a blaster. I turned, to see Poe standing there, blaster in his hands eyes fixed on Hux and Leia- now crumpled, bloody heaps on the floor. Behind Poe, a figure appeared, but before I could shout a warning a crackling blade pierced his chest and he too, fell. Ren?!
But the figure that was revealed when Poe collapsed was not Ren- nor was it his crossguarded saber. It was Snoke! He stood, tall, a twisted figure almost 7', wielding a long red lightsaber who's blade crackled and spat with the sheer hatred of the man, or creature, wielding it. 'THE GALAXY, BELONGS TO ME!' He bellowed, sinister voice loud and commanding.
'ALL WHO OPPOSE MY RULE SHALL DIE!'

I jolted awake, reeling from the dream- still able to hear echoes of Snokes roars and Ren's screaming my name. I tried to wrap my head around it, but none of it was making any sense- the only thing that did; Ren.
It had been almost two weeks since I'd seen him last, and bar the dreams and the occasional psychic attack and brief conversation (that usually consisted of a 'how are you healing?', but not much more), I had had no contact with The Dark Warrior that was Kylo Ren. I decided, this was enough. I needed to truly sit and think about what I actually felt towards him, and what these messed up dreams meant...
I sat up, grabbing a black vest and a set of arm guards- pleated and three quarter length like Ren's and a pair of faded dark grey combat shorts more or less the length of my old ones. Finally, I retied my grey criss crossed gauze wraps, and used my brown double belt to pin them in place. As I untied and brushed out my hair, then retied my usual three buns, I thought back again to the kisses...
I knew that he felt some form of lust towards me- he'd been wanting nothing more than to fuck me last time we'd kissed. Even if I hadn't been able to sense it from his mind, his own body betrayed that- much to my amusement.
But did he really only want me for sex? Was there love there, compassion? I couldn't know, but every now and then he'd slip up, make a comment that revealed he did care for me. And why would someone who only wanted to fuck me protect me like he did? Take a beating and disobey Snoke when there was such a risk of Snoke killing him? By this, he must feel something- but was it love or loneliness?
I pondered, that alone I'd never truly know for sure, but I was pretty certain in my guesses.
Now. Onto the more pressing matter- what did I feel towards him?
I sighed as I slumped back onto my bed, thinking back to all our interactions. I knew I was trying to deny what I felt but last nights dream especially- and the dreams of the nights before, in which we ran together in forests, and kissed without restraint.... Made me realise the truth. But really, Why would I dream of kissing him if I didn't like him? I wouldn't. But he's evil! He's a monster and a murderer, he killed his own father in cold blood and hurt Finn, he tortured me. When did that change, when did he stop being a monster and start being something I liked? Was it when we kissed? No, I must have liked him before then or I wouldn't have kissed him. What was so intoxicating about him, that despite what he'd done I couldn't help but fall for him? No, fall for him was a little strong, I didn't love him, I liked him.
I knew that he could see it- at least, if not before the last kiss, I'd now revealed my hidden feelings to him, and neither of us could really hide from the other when we were connected by a Force Bond.
As if thinking of him called out to him, I heard him in my head;
'Morning, Rey. Are you up for training today?' I didn't reply, touching the scars on my face. Every cut had now scarred over, they faded slowly but were as healed as they would truly get. None restricted my movement, unlike before when breathing and moving my arms stung each and every wound.
'Still sleeping...?' I heard Ren ask, I laughed but decided to grace him a reply; 'I'm awake. Yeh I can train today' I heard a small laugh in reply, it gave me butterflies just to hear it. 'I'll meet you in your room in five' he departed, and I already found myself missing his presence. I was a little dubious at the fact he'd said 'in' not 'outside' but I didn't really care, if I was honest. I found myself strangely excited to see him- no. I need to quell this... Feeling towards him. He was evil, and I was not, I needed to get back to the resistance and I just had to play along until I could. Falling for Ren had no part in my plan. I repeated that to myself, no matter what I felt, that was the way it would be. And one day I'd have to kill him- that I did know... It would be somewhat harder to do if I fell in love with him.
*But what about the dream... He had a child in his arms- your child...* no, no no, no no no. There would be no 'having children' with anyone- especially not Ren. It was just a dream and nothing more. Symbolic, maybe, but not real. And whatever that dream represented it was only tragedy, death, pain, suffering. Snoke destroying everything, that's what I fought against. Ren was a pawn to Snoke- especially now- and I would get out of this chess game, the white pawn trapped between the black, I had to get back to my own lines so I could attack with force. *even a single pawn can tip the balance, in the midst of their ranks* ITS A EUPHEMISM BRAIN. But, if the Black Knight fell for me... Maybe I could bring him down all the easier.