The Boyfriend Borrower

Chapter Eighteen

    Hannah's wearing something similar to me, only her dress is a little shorter and is black with a floral print all over it. Her hair is curled tighter than mine and it looks adorable on her. She's definitely not as nervous as I am about this whole thing. I don't even know why I'm all jittery.
    "Who's idea was it for the Carnival?" I ask.
    "Sam and Jordan actually talked about it the other night," Hannah answers as Sam pulls his parents SUV into Jordan's driveway. "Brittany will you walk up to the door with me?"
    I nod, unbuckling my seatbelt. "Sure." Hannah follows beside me up to the front door that it all too familiar to me.
    "I figured just in case his parents wanted to meet the chaperone, you're a lot safer than Sam," she giggles reaching out and knocking on the door. "I texted him and told him when we were almost here so—"
    The door opens and I instantly wish a bolt of lightening would just strike me out of my misery. "Hi, we're here for Jordan."
    Josh leans agains the door frame, smirking. "Lucky guy."
    I roll my eyes. "Josh, could you just get him please?"
    Josh stares at me, confused as to why I'd even be here if Hannah and Jordan are the ones going on a date. "What are you doing here anyway?" he questions. "I thought Jordan had a—oh, I see, you're with her brother and she's with mine."
    Hannah looks at me, puzzled by this entire situation. "Do you guys know each other?"
    Josh looks from her to me. "I don't know, Brittany, do we?" He rolls his eyes as I blatantly ignore him. "Jordan!" he calls out. "Your dates are here."
    Jordan comes rushing down the stairs holding a single red rose. He pushes past Josh and locks eyes with Hannah. The two of them are in their own little world with googly eyes for each other.
    "So the carnival, huh?" Josh interrupts. Jordan must've told him.
    I nod. "It's more ideal than a backseat in an empty parking lot," I mumble.
    "You could tag along if you want to," Hannah offers.
    "NO," Jordan and I say at the same time.
    I realize that Hannah is only trying to be nice and maybe score points with Jordan by including his brother, but it's not necessary. This is supposed to be my night with Sam. Our date.
    "You know what," Josh pauses to think. "That's not a bad idea. You and Sam don't want to be following these two around all night, if I go, I'll keep an eye on them." He reaches around the door and grabs his leather jacket. Jordan frowns, but doesn't want to fight the topic in front of Hannah, I can tell.
    Jordan ushers Hannah to the truck and Josh starts to follow, but I grab his arm. "Josh, please don't ruin this."
    "You won't even know I'm there," he states, walking toward Sam who is now out of the car trying to see what the hold up is. "Sam, my man!" Josh shouts, trying way too hard.
    I meet Sam's stare and mouth an apology. So much for this night being perfect.

    Once again, Josh is a total liar because it's completely evident that Josh is here; he hasn't shut up. When Sam asked how we knew each other, Josh told him that he and Brian used to play baseball together. It's not a complete lie, but it's not the whole truth. If it were up to me, Sam wouldn't ever know about Josh, but now I'm starting to think that I should just come clean about everything.
    We let Hannah and Jordan do their own thing and we're supposed to meet in front of the Ferris wheel at eleven.
    "So you play baseball, Sam?" Josh asks.
    "Yeah, I pitch," he answers, trying to keep his cool, but it's obvious he' is annoyed.
    "I see Brittany still has a soft spot for baseball players." Josh nudges me.
    I'm going to puke. What did I do to deserve this? Oh yeah, half the female senior class' boyfriends. "Josh, a second, please? Sam, I'll be right back."I push him over by a concession stand and shove his shoulder. "What is your deal?" I quietly shout.
    "Oh come on, you can't tell me that you're seriously into this guy," Josh chuckles. "It's so cheesy that he even brought you here."
    I wanted cheesy. I asked for cheesy. I'm desperately pining for the cheese. "Why are you torturing me? What did I do to you?" I'm practically on the verge of tears.
    Josh sighs. "Shit, Brit, I'm sorry, okay, I'll back off." He runs a hand through his hair. "I'm going to grab a funnel cake, do you want anything?"
    "No, just find some other girl to fuck with, Josh."
    I storm back over to Sam and grab his hand, pulling him toward the Ferris Wheel. "He's driving me crazy," I breathe as we get into one of the cages. We sit across from each other to balance the weight.
    "While we have a second alone, care to tell me what the hell is going on?" Sam questions.
    I sigh. "He uh," I stop, nervous of saying it. "Josh is," I look up to find Sam giving me his full attention. I gulp. "We used to have a thing, we dated."
    "Which is funny, considering that you told me you've never been on a date."
    "Sam, I haven't," I confirm. "This whole night is the most effort that anybody has ever shown for me," I say, waving my arms around, gesturing to the carnival. "I should've told you the other night when he dropped Jordan off, but I was afraid of what you'd think of me."
    "Do you still have feelings for him."
    I almost want to vomit. "Not even a little bit. My feelings for him weren't even real when I was with him. He showed the slightest interest in me at a point when I was insecure and vulnerable and I ate it up," I explain. "He recently moved back in with his dad and we reconnected because of Jenna and as much as I hate to admit it, I think it's what I need in order to get closure with him. He was awful, we were awful."
    "He's into you."
    I hop the other side, sitting on his side of the cage. "No, he's jealous that somebody else has my attention," I correct. "Even if he were into me, I'm not into him. At all."
    Sam relaxes at my words. "So that's it? He's just a guy from your past?"
    I nod, looking down at my hands in my lap. "I hate to tell you this Sam, but I have a lot of guys in my past. I'm not exactly proud of it, but there's nothing I can do about it now."   
    Sam reaches out and lifts my chin up, making me look at him. "Hey, I told you that I didn't care about any of that."
    "How can you not care about any of it? People are going to talk about you being with me. That doesn't bother you? I've slept with a majority of the baseball team and let's not even talk about the football—"
    "Brittany, you really don't have to do that."
    "What?"
    "Try and scare me away. That's what you're doing isn't it?"
    "No, Sam, I'm being honest with you. I—" I'm cut off when the carnival worker opens our ferris wheel door to let us out. Sam gets out first and holds out his hand so I don't trip.
    "When I say that I don't care, I mean it. I know that's not who you are."
    "I know, but you can't pretend like it doesn't exist. It may not be who I am, but's a little part of me, it's always going to be the one thing that I wish I could change to be better for you."
    Sam takes my hand, weaving my fingers between his, a simple gesture that I've never experienced with a guy. Luckily for Sam, there aren't many people here that we know. He stops walking and pulls me toward him. "I wanted this to be perfect for you, I'm sorry it got all screwed up," he tells me.
    "You have no reason to be sorry, I'm sorry. It's not all screwed up. We lost Josh, now we can do our own thing, come on," I smile, pulling him towards the tents that have games set up in them.
    Sam drops my hand and drapes his arm over my shoulder as we walk. My skin heats up under his warm embrace. "Are you cold?"
    I shrug, leaning into him more. "A little, but you're warm." The heat went down with the sun a little after we got here. I should've grabbed my little cardigan. The breeze isn't unbearable, but when we stop for cotton candy, Sam takes off his button up flannel and places it over my shoulders, braving the breezy air in his plain black t-shirt. I catch myself staring at his biceps, no where near immune to his muscles.
    After countless rides and greasy junk food, also known as my favorite kind, we play all the games the carnival has to offer. Well, the good ones at least, carnivals aren't cheap and I feel weird that he's paying for all of this. I can't help but feel like I owe him something for it, not that he makes me feel that way, it's just me and my screwed up way of thinking.
    I never thought I would be this girl, could be this girl. You know, the one who has a guy trying to win her some crappy stuffed animal while playing an overpriced carnival game. I can just imagine how cute this looks from a different perspective. So why do I still feel like I don't deserve this? Like Sam is too good for me? I mean, obviously he's too good for me. I don't even know what he sees in me.
    "Which one do you want?" Sam asks, pointing at the wall of stuffed animals.
    I scan my options. "Oh, definitely the rainbow unicorn," I giggle. Sam chuckles, telling the worker which one and he passes it off to me. I hook my arm with his as we walk. "I have to name him. Any suggestions? I'm thinking Captain Jelly Bean," I say between laughs.
    Sam stops mid step and faces me. He takes my face in his hands and gazes over my face, making me blush. "You're so adorable." He closes the small space between us and my knees weaken the second his lips touch mine.
    Luckily he's still keeping me steady when he pulls back because I swear I would dissolve into the air. "Come on, let's get the round up the kid and the two mini adults. I have a sur—"
    "T-there's the cute coup-ple!" Josh's voice booms in a stutter from ten feet away. His arm is slung over some girl wearing a bandana as a top and a napkin as skirt. Actually, I've seen bigger napkins. My eyes dart to the beer in his hand. "This is Tiffany, Tiffany this is—"
    "Josh," I stop him, walking up to him and grabbing his beer. As much as I'd like to gulp the rest of it's contents to take the edge off, I fight the urge. I look at the girl under his arm. "He's with us, you can run along." I pull his arm and he drunkenly stumbles into me causing Sam to step in and help me hold him up.
    "Don't you want my number?" The girl calls out to Josh.
    I laugh. "That's cute."
    Once we make it to the truck, Josh starts mumbling an apology. Sam no longer has a pissed off expression on his face, he almost looks like he feels sorry for Josh because he's obviously acting this way for a reason.
    "I'm going to go get Hannah and Jordan, you should stay with him," Sam tells me.
    I shake my head. "Let me," I offer, glancing at Josh. "I don't want to be alone with him."
    Sam glances at Josh and nods his head. "Good idea."
    I take my time looking for Hannah and Jordan since it's not quite eleven. I use the time to clear my head. As much as I hate how unplanned this night has gone, I'm beginning to realize that maybe this is what I needed. Having Josh out in the open doesn't make me feel trapped in a secret.

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