Chapter 37

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Chapter 37

When at long last Cocoman stumbled into his home camp, he headed straight for Nimiwin's nasaogan, the tipi with the signs of her clan painted on the deerskin sides. All during the long journey home, he'd envisioned her in his mind: her beauty, the long, flowing hair, her heart-shaped face with deep brown eyes that sparkled with merriment and joy of life. The way she flowed when she walked, danced when she was happy. Her name, Nimiwin, meant dance in their language. That she was waiting for him had kept him going, sustained his survival instinct. Her face in his mind overrode his revulsion at what he'd had to do in order to survive, compelled him back to her.

She didn't disappoint. He found her outside the nasaogan, tending a pot over the fire.

"Nimiwin," he choked.

At first, she only stared as though she didn't recognize him. Probably she did not, since he had lost weight, and his clothing was ragged and torn. He hadn't taken time to build a fire and melt snow to bathe, afraid another storm might catch him, one that would isolate him without any sustenance to continue the life flame. He had gathered skins and blankets from the others to wear against the cold, and he pushed back the blanket he wore wrapped around his head and ears.

Hope flickered in the depths of her eyes. Then love, love that wrapped itself around Cocoman and made life worthwhile. Life he couldn't give up out there in the blizzard, because it meant leaving her.

She raced to him, and he held her as she sobbed in joy at his homecoming. When her weeping subsided, she drew back and cupped his face between her palms.

"Oh, Cocoman. I thought...."

He laid a finger on her lips. "I'm home. I'm home because that's where you are."

His words set off a new storm of weeping, but she controlled it easier this time. Then she said, "Oh, you are so thin! And how weary you must be. Come."

She took his hand and led him to the fire. "I'll be right back with a blanket for you to sit on and a bowl for the stew."

Despite the tribal rule that he could not enter her nasaogan, he nearly followed her. He couldn't stand to let her out of his sight. But he steeled himself and waited. She returned within seconds, and her presence meant more to him than even the warmth of her wonderful cooking filling his belly.

While he ate, she told him of the search for the war party after the blizzards finally ceased. Of the failure after failure of the search parties to find any sign of their brothers.

"We tried so hard," she promised him. "Oh. And what about the others? Are they coming behind you?"

The taste of her stew soured in his mouth, and he set the bowl down. He couldn't face her as he spoke and turned his gaze towards the lake beside where the tribe had camped. Spring was near now, although it would be weeks even after the snow started to melt before the ice would break on the lake amidst thundering booms. Before their tribe would dismantle their dwellings and move to the river where the fish would spawn. Before they would leave this area, put the distance he fervently wished for between this place and the campsite where he had nearly died.

Finally, he said, "They are all dead. I am the only one who came back."

She knelt beside him on the blanket. Not too close, since at any time, someone could come out of another nasaogan and see them. Later, they would sneak away and meet at their special place. Then they could free their feelings for each other.

"I am sorry," she said quietly. "But I am so glad that, if there was only one to make it back, it was you."

He turned to her and allowed his finger to trace her cheek. "As am I. And it was you who brought me back."

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