still into you // l.t. // not being written anymore

Chapter 15

a/n: this chapter is dedicated to xxscarlett because she made me the fabulous cover i have right now xx

Louis' Pov

God, why couldn't she be mine? I wanted her to be my girl. I would be the person she came running to when she was sad, mad, or even happy. I wanted to be the only one that would ever taste her sweet lips; and hold her hand.

Why had I said that?

"No. We will always be friends."

I felt like a mess right now. I was a jumbled mess. It was the next day, and I sat here on the couch, shoving a handful of crisps into my mouth.

I hadn't talked to Clara in a day. She dodged all my calls and wouldn't answer my texts. I knew she had read them, but wasn't responding. I didn't know what was wrong.

I finally couldn't take it anymore. I stood up, slipping on my shoes and walking outside before I could think against it.

I didn't look that great. My eyes were tired and dark, my hair a little ruffled. I had on sweats and a shirt. I had stayed up all night last night. I wanted to know why she wasn't talking to me. Had she heard the interview? Was she mad I had even answered questions about her?

I knocked softly on the door, praying she would open. I waited for a few minutes before the door opened slowly. My breath caught in my throat and I let it out slowly.

There stood one of Clara's best friends, Belle.

"Hi, umm, is Clara home?" I asked with a shaky voice.

"She is, but she isn't seeing you." She replied with a little sass in her voice.

"Please. Let me talk to her." I begged, sighing heavily.

"No! Not after you hurt her like you did! I've never seen her cry so much in her life!" she yelled, but her voice turned soft, as if she didn't want anyone to hear this conversation.

"Isabelle! I don't even know what the hell happened. All I know is she isn't answering my calls or texts." I snapped back, my nerves getting the best of me.

"You walked out on her after you told her you loved her and you two kissed, and then you go to a radio interview and say you'll only be friends!" she told me harshly.

I was taken back. What? What the hell had I done? I didn't remember any of this. "What?"

"At the party." She stated through clenched teeth, clearly annoyed. "You kissed her. You told her you loved her. You slept in the same bed. You left. And then you get to a radio interview and you say you'll only be friends."

"Shit..." I cursed, hiding my face in my hands. I didn't remember any of this. "I was drunk... I..." I lowered my voice, "Of course I love her. None of that was a lie, I just don't remember any of it." I said, my voice a hushed whisper.

Belle's lips formed an 'o' and she thought about the information for a second. "Then what in the bloody hell was that at the interview?"

I shook my head, sighing. "I... I only said that, Belle, because I thought she only wanted to be friends..." I spoke slowly, dying to see Clara and make this all up to her.

"Oh... well then, I guess I can let you in. Just," She stepped closer to me. "Don't hurt her. I swear to god if you do... just don't." She stated firmly, stepping away from the doorway to let me in.

"I never will Belle. Thank you."

I ran past her, heading towards the living room where I could hear the familiar script of 'Dear John' being watched. I almost had the entire movie memorized, thanks to my best friend and my little sisters. It actually wasn't that bad of a movie.

I walked in, spotting Clara fast asleep on the sectional curled up with her favorite blanket and even her stuffed animal, Sandy, she had never put down when she was younger. Her eyes were slightly puffy and her nose red, a box of tissues next to her.

I sighed at the sight. She looked so fragile, so... broken. I felt like a monster for letting her get this way. Why was I such a douchebag?

Liv sat at her feet, under the same blanket and cuddled slightly into her. Liv, Belle, and Clara had been best friends since the fifth grade when they moved here. I even remember getting slightly jealous. I only wanted her to be mine. My best friend. Only mine.

And still, today, that was true. Except this time I wanted her to be my girl forever. I wanted to date her, marry her, have a family with her, grow old with her. I have never wanted to grow up. But, if I grew old with her, I would love it.

Olivia was awake and was staring at me in the doorway. I realized how long I had been standing there and blushed. "Sorry... Isabelle said I could see her?"

Liv nodded and sighed, shrugging as she stood up and walked to the kitchen. I took a deep breath, sitting in front of Clara on the floor. I couldn't help myself and lifted a hand to her cheek, brushing hair away as I admired her beauty.

She stirred and furrowed her eye brows. I could tell she was slowly waking up. She yawned, squealing quietly as she stretched out her legs like she always did. It was so cute. One of the reasons I loved her... I wanted to wake up to that everyday. Her eyes fluttered open, revealing her gorgeous blue eyes.

"L-Lou?" she furrowed her tiny eyebrows, sitting up quickly and running a hand through her hair.

"I need to talk to you... I want to say I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you." I said slowly and softly.

She shook her head and looked away. "I don't believe you." She said quietly, just like she did before she was about to cry. It was insane how well I knew this girl. She had become my life since the day she came home from the hospital when I was only a toddler.

"Please. Just hear me out." I begged, watching her reaction.

She sighed and nodded, looking away and I could see she was trying hard not to cry. She was always so emotional. But I loved that about her. It made her sweet and caring and... fragile. I loved the way I could hug her and she would just disappear into my arms. I loved that I could be the one to protect her, to keep her safe from harm.

I took her hand, kissing it softly and looking up at her as I slowly began to speak. "Umm... At the party, that was the truth. I was drunk and... I spoke my mind. But it was 100% the truth. I left because the next morning, I didn't remember any of this. If I remembered, believe me, Clara Bear, I would have stayed." I sighed and continued. "At the radio interview... I said that we would only be friends because I thought that's what you wanted. Clara, I've wanted you for so long. I only want you. Jessica wasn't real love. I missed you and she was a rebound. You're all I have ever wanted. I feel this connection with you, that I've never gotten from anywhere else." I paused, looking up at her to see her reaction. "I've been in love with you since freshman year. I still remember exactly what was happening when I realized it. We were walking through the hall, and you were wearing jeans, a light pink sweater, and flats. Your hair was up in a bun and you had on a gold necklace. It was valentines day. It was the end of the school day and our lessons were over. I was excited to go to your locker before walking home because there was a stuffed animal and candy in your locker. You opened it up and I still remember your face. You were so happy and excited and I just wanted to kiss you in that moment. I wanted to make you happy like that for the rest of my life." I retold the story slowly, my brows furrowing together as I focused on the memory.

I looked back up at her and she stared back at me, tears pouring down her cheeks. "I love you." She whispered.

I felt my heart beat faster as I stood, sitting next to her and pulling her into my arms. "I love you too." I pressed my lips to hers, feeling so happy and complete in that moment. "Clara, will you be my girlfriend?" I asked, my voice shaky.

She nodded quickly and hugged me tightly. I held her close, rubbing her back softly. An echo of 'awwww's were heard from the kitchen and I blushed, looking up to see Belle and Liv standing there with smiles on their faces.

Clara blushed bright red and turned to them, "Go away." She laughed, holding up a pillow so we were hidden behind it as I kissed her nose gently.