screw up // B.E & D.L

part 1

as i laid on my back, staring up at the plain white ceiling with no emotion what so ever present on my face, i pictured last night's events. i looked over to my left and saw a naked boy sprawled out over the bed.

"you've done it again, haven't you?" i thought to myself. i just keep on screwing up and i believe my actions that are going to happen in the near future will be the end of my existence. it's not that i feel like it will be, i know it will. i am completely lost in my own thoughts as i feel the boy that i had sex with the night before start to wake up. he looked up at me and smirked.

"hey baby", he slurred as he was clearly hungover and in pain from the headache that pounded on his head. i looked at him, still emotionless, and just laid there, still as ever. he reeked of alcohol, as did i.

"did you have fun last night?" he asked me. honestly, i could not remember a thing last night. except the fact that i got blackout drunk and had sex with the first guy to show me attention. my response was completely a lie. i just wanted to boost his ego.

"yes, baby. you were so good to me last night", i told him while leaning down and grabbing his face. i pulled myself towards him and placed a soft kiss upon his lips. i slowly disconnected the kiss and smirked back at his shocked face.

"remember that", i whispered as i got out of a bed i did not recognize. i found my black lacy thong and bra and slipped them on.

"why are you in such a rush to leave?" the random boy questioned me. i slipped on my black tank top and ripped jean shorts before responding.

"because, i dont stay after one night stands", i told him bluntly.

"i dont even remember your name if im being totally honest", i said. i mean, it was the truth.

"wow", he scoffed. i could see him shaking his head out of the corner of my eye as i slipped my black heels back on. i grabbed my small over the shoulder bag and waved the boy off. as i walked down the hall, i started to recognize where i was. i was in a fraternity house on the college campus, only i do not go to college, i come here for the parties. in fact, im only 17 years old and a junior in high school. but none of these college boys know that about me. as i step out of the frat house i pull out my phone to call my only bestfriend, billie. the line rang a few times before she answered the call.

"hello?" i heard her voice say.

"bil", was all i said before she sighed. she knew what i was calling her for because this has happened multiple times in the past few months.

"aight, i'll come pick you up, but you know damn well that you have a big ass lecture coming towards your way", she warned.

"i love you, forever, billie", i told her and we said our goodbyes. she said it would only take her about 15 minutes to get to me after i texted her where the frat house was located. i sat on the curb in front of the house, thinking. i was thinking about what the hell was wrong with me. i used to get straight A's and i never got in trouble. i was definitely the star child, next to my brother, who was also going out late and not coming home until the afternoon the next day. he never went to school, im actually pretty sure he dropped out in his junior year. he was now 19, would've been freshly out of highschool. but, he's not what my thoughts were focused on. they were focused on the fact that my father had died about 9 months ago, sending both my brother and i into the deep end. my mother, who is absolutely amazing, has been trying to stay strong for the both of us even if the death of my father impacted her the most. when she found out that i started to fail school, she was very angry with me, but also very understanding. i still go to school, i really do, but most days i either just sit there and do nothing, or i just skip. billie goes with me most of the times, but she gets good grades and participates when she is there for class. as my mind raced a million miles per minute, billie texted that she would be here in less than 2 minutes. i stood up from off the curb and watched down the street. when i saw a car pulling up, i had noticed that it wasnt hers, as it was my boyfriends. yes, i have a boyfriend and i just had sex with a random college boy. little does he know, i've been doing this for 3 months now. once he pulled up billie instantly got out of the car. she walked up to me and engulfed me into a hug as jackson, the cheated on boyfriend, watched sternly from the drivers seat.