Demeter's Call

IV. Janus, A Very Ungodly God, Tells Me To Shut Up

Note: I read Trials of Apollo and realized just how non-canon this is but I will continue this story as if Trials of Apollo never happened, so no Meg or mortal Apollo. For my convenience and yours :P

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IV. Janus, A Very Ungodly God, Tells Me To Shut Up

TANIA

Twenty-three minutes into the quest and I was more done than One Direction's days of being a band.

"Are we there yet?" Fern asked in her nasally voice of hers and I felt my fists clenching together.

Oh how I wanted to duct tape her mouth closed and send her off to Timbuktu (which is actually a place, I learned about it in Geography 101 a few days before I came to Camp Half Blood.)

Grover sighed and looked over at Fern with an odd expression on his face. I'd say either annoyance or murder.

I feel you dude.

Suddenly I could see a blinding flash of pale light and, judging by the shouts of my companions, I wasn't just hallucinating.

Then, suddenly, out of the light came a man. I immediately recognized him but didn't remember how.

I frowned.

"Do you recognize him?" I whispered to Fern and she made a face at me, shaking her pretty little head.

I could hear Grover's gasp from beside us. "Janus." He whispered, "The Roman god of beginnings, gates, transitions, time, doorways, passages and endings."

"Yes, my dear satyr." The man rumbled. His voice sounded odd, it was as if he had been struck with Zeus' lightening then gotten sick with the flu all while sporting a bad case of chicken pox.

Janus glared at me.

Please don't kill me, please don't kill me, I thought suddenly, my mind rushing with the possibility. I mean, once a god/goddess glares at you, you better run. Or hide. Or die.

I directed my thoughts back to my worrying.

I hadn't gotten my driver's license yet or gone to Paris or—

"Oh shut up already." Janus said and I turned to stare at him, my eyes widening at his very ungodly statement.

"Don't give me that look." He hissed, "You'd be pretty darn annoyed if you could hear everyone's thoughts."

He paused for a moment, as if to catch his breath.

"And to answer your previous question, I've caught up with the latest lingo.

Who uses the word 'lingo' anymore, I wondered but decided to not say anything.

Janus' face morphed into one of serenity and I paused, wondering what the heck was happening. Then, the god turned around and I was greeted by a face, boiling red with anger and I screamed as he stared me down.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you have the best lingo and the best mind-reading skills." I managed to choke out but the god didn't seem to care.

"You, I KNOW YOU." He shouted out, pointing an accusing finger at me and Fern. Twin looks of shock appeared on our faces, which had turned quite pale over the last few seconds.

"I-I don't know you." Fern screeched, her face suddenly a mask of fear.

"Oh, I know you all right." Janus whispered, stepping towards Fern. In any other case I would have laughed because he was walking backwards towards Fern, his angry face on the back of his head.