Freak Week: Chapter 7: All's Well That Raps Well

Chapter 7: All's Well That Raps Well

Dear Robot Diary,

I'm so glad you're more than just an abstraction in my head again (but... spoilers)!

First:

After Banana had her meltdown about freaky friendships, everything went black. We all woke up the next day.

"Not again!" Crush yelled.

"What is it?" I asked, rushing to his side.

"Lester must have found our Sleepee Tyme..." Crush concluded.

"Slurpee time?! YES, PLEASE!" Harry, mishearing the golden words, awoke and embraced Crush, while jumping up and down.

Brushing the idiot off, Crush said, "No, SLEEPEE Tyme. It was an invention my brother and I made that could render someone unconscious for a few hours... It looks like he's made some improvements." Crush was met with blank stares. "Speaking of which, where is my brother?"

"Jim and Lester are no where to be found!" Harry screamed.

But then a voice pierced us from behind, "On the contrary, Harry, we are YES WHERE TO BE FOUND!" It was Jim. And, shortly after, power-walked Lester.

"Jim! What do you think you're doing with him?!" I yelled. OH. Oh, no. Sorry, RD, that gave me flashbacks of the Heavensmall Christmas of 2017.

"Lace, don't worry. Lester and I found a way to decide the fate of Freak Week once and for all," Jim replied.

"What is it?! ARE WE KEEPING IT?! PLEASE TELL ME WE ARE KEEPING IT!" Banana was practically foaming at the mouth.

"We're about to find out!" Lester bellowed, hands cupping his mouth. The lights cut out. Then flashed a rebirth of purples and blues and pinks in tandem with electronic middle school music.

"These lights are doing more flashing than at my Aunt Clidoris' bachelorette party!" Marmie hollered.

"GREATWAY HIGH SCHOOL, ARE YOU READY TO RAP BATTLE?!" Lester is quite possibly the biggest freak of this entire week.

The peanut gallery rolled its eyes, one after another, like some annoyed Rube Goldberg machine.

"THAT'S RIGHT FREAK AND FREAKETTES, WE ARE RAP BATTLING FOR CONTROL OF EARTH'S CLIMATE. Y'ALL READY FOR THIS?!" Lester shouted.

Something deep in Marmie burst out of her: she proceeded to jump up and down and twirl all of her body parts in concentric circles. She was, in fact, ready for this.

"THAT'S RIGHT – THE FATE OF THE WORLD RESTS IN OUR HANDS." Lester took a dramatic pause. "INTRODUCING," he then fake-coughed, "the winning team," and then resumed shouting, "LESTER AND HIS JESTER!!" Nothing happened. Lester, extremely peeved, loudly whispered, "Banana, that's us!"

To which, Banana yelled, "DARN RIGHT IT'S US! WOOP WOOP! LESTER AND HIS JESTER! ME! I'M THE JESTER!" She galloped to the stage on an invisible horse.

"You have got to be kidding me..." Crush sighed.

"VERSUS," Lester then fake coughed again, "the losers," and then resumed shouting again, "SLIMMY JIMMY AND THE LAME, OLD, STUPID, EXPIRED REMAINING SACKS-OF-FLESH – or Slimmy Jimmy and the L.O.S.E.R.S. for short!" He then retrieved a gravitational manipulator (at least, that's what Crush said it was called) from his pocket and forcefully pulled us on stage.

"We could've just walked!" Harry complained, feeling nauseous.

"Sorry! I'm always one for dramatics! LOL!" Lester is a creep, Robot Diary. A full-fledged creep. "Are you ready, Banana?"