Poems

10-0

10: I never knew he existed.
That boy was never the one I thought about. He was never the one I looked for, and he was certainly never the one who's name gave me butterflies. When I was younger, if you would have said his name, I would have looked at you like you were stupid. His name meant nothing to me. I knew nothing of him and i probably wouldn't have wanted to.

9:Schools combined.
Our school became combined. I thought life sucked before, this was the year where is sucked the most. I was forced to associate with new people. Some I've never met before. At times, I wish I never met half of them. Sometimes I still do. That boy, was nothing more then a student in a few of my classes, nothing more.

8:I noticed him
No, noticing him wasn't the worst thing that could happen, but it lead to some of the worse things ever. A girl pointed him out to me, said he always stared at me. It never made sense to me, especially since no guy would ever look at me in any kind of positive interest. And so I watched and seen. I knew it wasn't part of my imagination, for she pointed it out first.

7: I fell
I don't know how it happened, I'm not quite sure when either. I just know somewhere in the month of noticing him I fell for him. I didn't understand it. I just knew with each day that went by I was checking for him. I was happy when he was there and sad when he wasn't. I didn't want to be with anyone else.

6: I asked him
After about another month or two of peer pressure I gave in. I ask him out. He was and is the first and only boy I've ever asked out. Though after asking I wished I never did. Rumors got started and I lost what self-esteem I had. I didn't think I could talk to him any longer without feeling ashamed.

5:It got worse
As time went by I could no longer stand to be near him. One rumor was put to rest. But there was more, there would always be more. I couldn't be near without embarrassing him or without hurting. I got messed up bad. It spread to others.

4:I told him
I told him several time I liked him. I of course left him in the middle of the hall like an idiot. I wish I'd never done that either.

3: We grew a little
Getting older proved to not be all sugar and spice. The older we get, the more I fall. With each year I find that it's hard to get over him, I tried to. I failed to.

2: I've tried
I've tried to message him, he ignored him. He continued to hurt me, even as I tried to be with him. I felt worse and worse. I gave up. I gave up trying to get him and I started to cry. I cried a lot.

1:Talking in person
I finally got him to talk to me. Then again he didn't have much of a choice. I wanted to be friends, but I didint know if we could. I'm not the type he'd ever consider being friends with.

0: Getting hurt
I get so hurt. He finally trusted me enough to let me know who he liked. I hated it though. I hated it so much. I love him and he don't me. I guess that's how life works. I get hurt and he doesn't. But it seems he will get hurt now. I can't stand it. I really can't, I get mad. But getting mad makes me a brat. Getting sad makes me horrible. Makes me seem like a whiner. Society sucks. No matter how I feel anymore I'm in the wrong.