Calendula requiem

One more flower fall to the ground. The once beautiful shades of yellow died and leave its dry chocolate stem behind. They seek out the rain that won't fall and the sun that won't rise.

"I...ki...wa...up! Ple... beg...,'ll do...thing. Ju... ke up!" A faint voice that desperately calls someone is the paradise of darkness. As I sat there alone with nothing else but the darkness and the flowers, wondering whether this is a lie or a dream? Or this is the in-between? Or perhaps, my existence itself is a lie? So many possibilities.

"St...ase... may...'s...ter for...im...li...In his own...dise." it was always like that, a faint voice that completely nonsense but you could hear the desperate and the sadness in that voice. But no matter, there's nobody in this in-between world except me. As curious as I am to know what the hell is he talking about, deep down inside, I don't want to leave this little paradise of mine. Because I know, once I leave this little paradise, I'll lose my body and my heart that makes me myself. And I don't want that. Not in one hundred and more years. This place protects my heart that keeps me human. Even if this human me existence is merely a lie.

If I exchange this body and this heart of mine, what I will gain in return? I know that life is so fragile and fleeting, no matter what you are. It's so fragile that a mere tears and grieves and fears can steal it. In the end, we'll all lose it, the life we fought so hard.

The marigold that sings the requiem, silently reaches full bloom. By reeling in hatred and sadness. Just like a wise man once said, "Hate will keep you alive where love fails." If this hatred and loneliness can keep me human, then I'll gladly accept it with open arms. Even if this marigold seeks out the rain that won't fall and then falls into an eternal sleep.

"No... lease...ke up!" That faint desperate voice became stronger that it rips my memories to shreds. Or is it my heart that he ripped to shreds? Whatever it is, it's painful and pitiful. The voices were so pitiful that I almost complied with their request. Almost, almost is the key word. Nevertheless, it can't change the fact that the voices that used to be indistinct became a little clear and the marigold started to look more alive

.

(Is it still reeling in sadness and hatred?)

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Is it time, I wonder?

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(Will I lose my humanity to be alive?)

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Will I lose my life in order to preserve my humanity?

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I know that people can't have everything that they wanted, it's the simplest rule we need to follow. Nevertheless, I shan't go down without a fight. Even if I ended up losing everything.

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"IZUKI!!!"

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The scream echoing in this hollow room. The marigold that was silently blooming started to wither for the sadness and hatred is no longer there.

For there was nothing in there.

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Fin