Mafia

Past and Present

"Can you believe the view from up here? It's so beautiful," it was mid-december, the snow had settled like a soft white blanket over the city lit up by a million sparkling lights.
"It is," Luca was standing behind me, his arms wrapped around my waist, my hands resting on top of his arms.

"I've always loved winter, everything seems so quiet and serene, you know?" Luca hummed his agreement behind me and I turned in his arms with a blissfull sigh.
Every time I looked at him I was overcome with how much I loved him and just loved being with him. I knew he wasn't a "good guy", but that didn't matter to me, the only thing that mattered was how he made me feel special and like I was the only person that mattered to him when we were together. To be a little cliche; he made me feel like I was the only girl in the world.

"What are you thinking?" Shaking my head I cupped his chin and pressed up on my toes to press my lips to his in a sweet kiss, smiling when I pulled back.
"I'm thinking how lucky I am to have met you,"

We'd been together four months, and every day I learned something new about him, and every day I fell more and more in love with him, but I still hadn't found the courage to tell him that I loved him. I was scared that he didn't feel the same way, that it was way too soon and I would scare him off by saying it. The thing was, Luca was a lot older than me, I had just turned eighteen and he was approaching twenty-five and in so many ways I was still just a kid. I liked to think I was mature for my age, I had a job - granted it was the family business - but still, it was more than any of my friends had. I wasn't all that interested in partying and drinking, but I was far from an adult, no matter how much I liked to pretend otherwise. Truth was, part of me worried that I was nothing but a nice little distraction for Luca, something fun to play around with before someone better and more mature came around and caught his attention.

"From where I'm standing, I'm the lucky one. You're the best thing that has happened to me in a long time Ariana, you know that don't you?" It was hard to believe, but from the way he was looking at me, dark eyes so expressive and urging me to believe every word he said no matter how much my insecureties were trying to convince me it was just a pretty lie. But I wanted to believe him so bad, wanted to believe he felt the same way about me that I did for him.

"I find that hard to believe, considering the first time we met I threw a glass of wine in your face." Luca threw his head back in a real from-the-belly laugh that warmed me as much as the thick winter coat and merino wool scarf I was wearing.
His laugh was so infectious I found myself joining in and the next thing I knew he was kissing me, a deep slow seduction of a kiss that took my breath away. When he pulled back I was feeling a little light-headed, my hands pressed to his chest to keep me upright as my legs threatened to crumble beneath me.

"La cosa migliore che mi sia mai capitata. Ti amo, Ariana Isabelle Caliente"

(The best thing that ever happened to me. I love you)

That day had been the happiest day of my life, but now all it did was remind me of the hurt that had followed.

"What are you doing, Luca?" My voice was quiet as I turned to face him, slightly vavering with pent up emotion. He didn't look at me or answer my question, I followed his gaze to the Empire State building and swallowed as I waited for him to say something, anything.

"It's Marisols birthday today, Vincent and Lindsay is having a small celebration at the restaurant, come with me?" I hesitated, taking a step back to get my thoughts and emotions under control. I wasn't sure accompanying Luca to a family celebration was a good idea, actually I was sure it was a horrible idea, only further complicating an already complicated situation and relationship and yet...

Over the past three months working for Luca I had found myself regular inventory at Vincente's, spending many a late-night business dinner there and occasionally ending up having drinks with Lindsay every so often. Lindsay had become a really good friend to me during all of this, she was probably one of the very few people who could actually relate to my situation. She'd been a great support and I felt like I could be honest with her, trusting her more than I trusted even Letty or my own family to keep my secrets about how I really felt.

Just last weekend we went shopping together, Marisol had come with us and I absolutely adored that little girl, even had a birthday present for her hidden away in my desk. Which was why I said what I did next.

"Okay, I'll come. I can't stay long though, I've got plans tonight," I had a date actually, but I didn't think now was the right time to bring that up, if ever, and I didn't feel particularly in the mood to get into an arguement with Luca about it today.

I knew it was breaking our deal, and I also knew Luca wouldn't hesitate to bring that up, which was why I didn't say anything.

"Dinner with the family?" There was an edge to his voice that made me tense up, something didn't feel right and I had the sudden horrible feeling that he aldready knew.
"No, not with the family."

Luca turned to face me and I was taken back with the intensity of his gaze.
"We had a deal Ana, no?" Sighing I wrapped my arms around myself and averted my gaze.
"I'm aware of our deal Luca, and so far I've stuck by it. I'm having dinner with a friend, and yes it is a date, but I'm asking you to let it fly. You say you want me back, that all of this is just some grand plan you have to make that happen, but if that's true... If you ever really loved me... I need you to give me the freedom to do this one thing.
I'm not going to keep denying the truth anymore, Luca. We both know I still have feelings for you, but I need time to figure out how that plays out now, today. So please Luca, all I'm asking is a chance to figure things out."

I couldn't read his expression, but he hadn't immediately refused, which in my book was a good sign. I was on edge the entire time I waited for him to say something, part of me terrified that he'd decide to go back on our deal, but then he gave a sharp nod and his features softened for a second before he cupped my cheek and lifted up my chin so our eyes locked.

"I'll give you the freedom and time, Ariana, but eventually you'll realize no one will ever love you the way I do, mi amore." He finished his statement with a kiss that had my heart racing and palms turn damp, and when he eventually pulled away I was more confused than I had ever been before.

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