The Billionaire's Awakening (Unedited Version)

Chapter 15: Regrets

Arghh.... I screamed and threw the vase I grab from the table on the corner close to my door. I hear the crashing sound of the glass as soon as it connected the floor, the glass broke into tiny pieces, the same way my heart broke when I heard and saw her spiritless eyes.

"You know what's the worst a mother could experience? Is losing their baby."

Mom's words rang in my head. It was mother's day. She told us that she almost lost Kristos. I remember how her eyes lost it's spirit as she relays it and I saw that today in Vicky's eyes, hers were intense, cutting deep inside of me leaving me in a the dark deep abyss. Until now, when mom remembers it, she always ends up crying. The memory never left her, and she never recovered, yet she still has Kristos. But my Vicky, she lost our child. She lost it and now, she will carry the pain forever and thinking about it, makes me want to kill myself over and over.

Our child. Our child suffered for my irresponsibilities, for my selfishness.

Screw you, Xandrous. Screw you to death!

The pain is indescribable. I felt betrayed, but guilt digs in deeper. I wanted to die this moment, to avoid this raw pain consuming my whole being. God, I want to wipe off that pain in her eyes, bring back the glow in those orbs, but I don't know how to do it? Nothing is enough to make her forget her traumatic past. Nothing could erase it, and it damned destroying me right now.

My Vicky, she will always be scarred. She will always blame me for losing our child or even not. I will always hold the guilt, ever.

I don't deserve her. I don't don't deserve her love. After I fucked up many times, she was right. She did fight for me, but I unconsciously rejected her chasing her away, by staying on Cassie's side. She gave me up everything, but it wasn't enough for me.

I was selfish.

I dropped my exhausted body on the floor, tears had dried up on my cheeks. I wanted to cry the pain out, but it seems my tear ducts were drained out and so were my emotions.

I feel numb.

..................

Vicky's POV

"Come on, get up, Vi." Frankie help me up on my feet and I just let her. I have no energy to argue. I felt like I lost my voice after he stormed off and my head just suddenly shuts off.

It hurts to breath, and I felt like it took all my energy to keep breathing. "Xandrous," I softly murmured. My heart clenched tightly that it felt so painful to breathe. He must have hated me now after knowing we had a child.

I didn't know. I didn't know I was pregnant. If I didn't have an accident, I wouldn't even find out.

"Vi, you need to take a rest," Franki's soft voice were soothing, but it didn't help at all. My heart still feels raw.

She helps me back on my bed and I crawled inside my bed cover. She tucked me in and then perched on the edge beside me, her back against the headboard. I was curled on my side, my back facing her.

"I'm sorry about your loss," she murmured softly, sounding weary.

I felt the tears starting to well up in my eyes. "It must be very traumatic for you. I can't imagine," Frankie kept talking in a low tone. "I'm sure, Xandrous is hurting right now, too. I'm sorry," she said softly.

I felt her fingers gently brushing my hair and it reminds me of my mother. The way she brushes my hair so gently it felt a little soothing. I miss mom. I wish she's here. My sister. How is she? I've been very bad to her. I wish they were here. I missed them.