fem

1

<a/n>
This story is not made up, the letters are real. I am writing this book because i want to teach young girls that deAl with their life and all their problems that suicide is not the solution. It never is and never will be.

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Dear Tessa,

Ever since we moved here I couldn't get a chance to talk to you. The people in France are different, i don't know if it's the language or the weather. I think it's just me.

Dad's been so hyperactive lately, he laughs at everything we say, but his smile never reaches his eyes. I can tell he's sad. Sometimes I want to be alone, to not have dad with me all the time and don't forget about my stupid stepmom.

I love dad but he's been different lately, since mom passed away he tries to be funny and talks about anything but her.
I wish I could shut him up by telling him to never leave mom in the first place, but i'd probably end up crying because i miss her too much.

I miss her so so much tessa, i thought it would be good to have a new and fresh start in another country, but who am I kidding? All I do is crying, I cry when I wake up, I cry thoughout the day and I cry myself to sleep. Sleep. Hah. I wish you could call that sleep, yesterday i managed to get three hours of sleep. I promised her not to be sad when she's gone but i can't. I fucking can't. It's not that easy, mom was always there for me, she's like my best friend and cool mom in one package. Damn that was easy to write on paper, but when it comes to words there won't come a single noise out of my mouth.

Oh and did I tell you about the whispers? When I'm alone, i can hear people whispering my name, the first time i thought it was mom, but it sounded so harsh i knew it couldn't be her. I don't know who they are and what they want from me, but they won't go away. Am I going crazy? Is this the part where the depressed girl is realising she's gone nuts and needs to be locked in a clinic? I'm so afraid tessa, where are you? I really need you right now. I can't sleep at night because the whispers are keeping me awake.

Tessa?
I really need you here tess,

Love,
Fem

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<A/N>

Hi guys this was the first letter from femke cheapmondae , she wrote this in august 2014. To clear things up: Femke was my best friend ( and still is ) she lived in the netherlands ( the hague) and we went to the same school. We became best friends in highschool. She got bullied by a few girls in our class, they were jealous because femke had everything they didn't have. Around that same time femke her grandma passed away and her mother got cancer. She eventually didn't make it and also passed away. Femke became depressed and started hurting herself. The bullies knew about her mom and grandma and used that to hurt her even more. She was only 16 at the time and there was no one to take care of her, so she moved to france, where her dad lived with his french wife. i lost my connection with femke thoughout the months. Half an hear ago her step mom send me her diary that contains the letters she wrote adressed to me.

Keep on reading to find out what exactly happened.