a charmed life | a Carry On story

Chapter I

                SIMON

I don't know what took me so long.

I knew that the thought was in the back of my mind, reoccurring every time we made the simplest of eye contact. But, I wouldn't let it slip from my tongue. I'm sure he knew, it's noticeable in everything I do. Our eye contact made my body burn when the world was cold. His touch inflamed me, but in the most innocent way. There was no doubt it's there, something and always.

No, more than something, anything, it's Baz. Basilton Pitch, the first boy, the first anybody, that I knew I was hopelessly in love with.

He won't stop pacing around the apartment. He's holding his hand to his forehead, and his voice seemed to be higher than usual, sparking my amusement. I tried not to laugh at the upset, raging, and mildly confused Baz that was standing before me but I couldn't help it. I sat in the chair that Penny has placed right next to our library. Yes, we have our own library (Thanks to Penny, it was actually built as needed.)

"Will you stop that?" Baz spat, "I'm trying to think where I left my bloody wand."

I sighed at the thought of magic, but I kept it quiet. I didn't want Baz or Penny to pity me, because at this point, I've been hosting a pity party since that night at Watford, with The Mage.

The Mage.

I hadn't thought about him since we got back, not while i'm conscious at least. I've had these dreams, though. Nightmares, I should say. When I wake, I shower and pretend like it never happened. It didn't happen, not in real life. But, it always felt like it. I'd wake up next to Baz, in a sweat, crying. I remember the night like it's the only familiar memory I have. It's always there, but I push it away, with thoughts of Baz or whatever event Penny has come up with for us to do. There's so much about The Mage I didn't yet know. In fact, none of us really knew him. I don't what's sadder, us trying to discover his mystery after his death, or the fact he was a mystery to us all along and we never knew. But, I don't think our search for information will last forever. When you die, your soul lives on. There has to be something about him that we can find, in Watford itself. I know Penny has spent her nights, wide awake reading her banned books, scanning each page that particularly mentioned Watford, or even better, The Mage himself.

Okay, maybe I lied. The Mage isn't the only thing I think about. I think about everything that could've been but then slipped from my finger tips.

I think about magic, in particular. how much I miss it. how much I want in back in my life, but know that I won't be able to possess it again. How could I not think about it though? I have a tail that I can't even bloody work. Penny has been attempting to teach me though, so far, nothing is there. She spends her extra time after school in the library, researching anything that could possibly explain the tail. I wish she would research on how to completely get rid of it, though. Baz says he'd try magic as much as he possibly could but I refuse. I don't want magic being used on me anymore if I can't obtain it myself. I know how that must sound, but losing it made me lose myself, in a way. Cliche as it is, I really don't feel the same without my magic. It was the only thing I saw going for me and now, I can only see Baz. Baz isn't the same way, I don't think. I've noticed him staying up at night, laying in bed up against our headboard. He just stares off into nothing, biting his fingers and sighing every once in awhile. It worried me constantly so I would sit up with him.

I may of lost my magic, but I still could tell what was going through Baz's mind. He was terrified of me growing old. Ever since I had figured out that he was a vampire, it terrified me too. Not in the sense that he's a bloody vampire (Wow, no pun intended there.) but in the sense that he won't age as I grow old. Love has no limit, unless you're mundane and your boyfriend is a vampire, I guess. Baz and I both know that one day, it's going to be different. He'll be brushing his shining black hair back and I'll be trying to cover my hair loss. God, how tragic is this love story? We don't talk about it for that very reason. We're terrified.

"AH! There it is." Baz interrupted, grabbing onto his wand that was sitting on the shelf, on top of Penny's spells journals. Yes, she has several of them and they add up each year. I pretended they did not exist somedays, and others I'd help her study.

"It took you awhile, did it not?" Penny smirked, "You're blind as a bat."

She knew where it was all along. She truly did love bothering Baz whenever she could.

"A bat? Really? You just had to, didn't you?" Baz rolled his eyes as he walked to sit down next to me, on the arm handle of the chair. I chuckled at their bickering. I never wanted it to end.

Penny broke out into laughter, "Ok.. I swear I didn't even notice that." She continued laughing, as ours followed along. She closed her dark magic book and punched Baz's shoulder.

"I swear, you guys could do this forever." As I said this, I knew I wouldn't have it any other way. Living with the two of them was a joy, you never knew how it was going to be. Sometimes Penny would come home, pouting about her exam grade being 2 points below the above average score. She actually pouted about being average.

Average like me, I thought.

I shook my head for even thinking about it. I needed to focus on what really mattered most, Baz. I wanted Baz to be okay but some nights, I didn't know if it was possible. It was hopeless for him, for us to stay this way. We knew that soon, it would be weird. He'd have the body of a 17 year old boy and I'd be a grown man and it would be weird. It would hurt him immensely to see me that way and him not be able to experience it with me. I pushed the idea aside. I knew that I needed to appreciate what we had now. As of now, we're all content. I needed to continue to carry on and let life give me whatever it had. Yet, I wanted it all. But, I had him. He was my all and that was enough.