twenty one

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When I wake up, I no longer feel anyone next to me. I sit up and find myself in my bed, the duvet cradling my bare legs and I feel myself start to tear up.

He left.

I swing my legs over the bed and feel the cold draft hit me, sending shivers up my spine. He must have dressed me, because I'm not wearing jeans and I'm wearing one of his old shirts. I look at the clock and sigh. His plane left.

you: hey you never said bye..

I go back into the kitchen and grab the leftover pancakes from McDonalds, and I sit at my table with a sad plate of pancakes and a very messy bun which, doesn't even look like a bun, and my glasses that are about as dorky as you can get.

"Erin!" My mother bursts through the door, her curly dark hair flowing down her shoulders as she swings the bags on her arms. "Me hija! I sold an apartment today." I smile and continue picking at my pancakes."What's wrong?"

I throw them in the garbage and fake smile. "Nothing, mama." I go back to my room and take a shower, then get dressed, then sit back on my bed with my phone in hand and the covers cradled over my body.

I receive a dm.

"dude ur so lucky. :( i wanna hate you but if calum's happy then im happy. :)"

Confused, I send a smiley face and a heart to be friendly and stare off.

My phone continues to go off and eventually I sigh and check all of them.

"have you gone on Instagram yet?? be good to him."

I feel my heart race as I log into Instagram, and when I do I start to cry.

"Erin?"

"Yes mom?" I smile and wipe the tears that are pouring down my face.

I like the picture and then, bury my face in my pillow and scream as loud as I can.

"Erin? Are you alright?" My mother stands by the door with a cookie in hand.

"Not really," I laugh. "but it's a good kind of not okay, you feel?" She nods and raises her eyebrows. "You can leave now."

"Okay." She shuts my door.

The picture is of us on the couch last night, but I'm asleep, and he's kissing my cheek. The girl in the picture doesn't even look like me. Her hair is perfectly messy and her eyes are closed peacefully, her skin looks amazing and she looks happy.

As the caption, he could have put "gonna miss my sexi mexi" and I still would have cried, but instead he put this,

"months. months of speaking to you and i finally was able to show you how much i love you. you make my day a lot better. im going to miss you so much babe."

calum: i didn't need to. i said see you later. because i will. ;-)

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

And I smile as wide as I can.

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