A Kiss with a Fist

Chapter Three

                                                                                              A Kiss with a Fist

                                                                  Chapter Three

Lotte watched in an unmatched fascination as the smoke swirled around Nisa's face, disappearing momentarily as she took in a breath and returning a moment later as she released the hold, making it now look more like a playful cloud before dissipating. She wasn't going to lie, Lotte had always thought the wispy vapor was sort of pretty. It even looked kind of swell as it rose around Nisa's nose, slightly obscuring her eyes as she took another hit.

"Are you sure this is okay?" Lotte asked, instinctively ducking every time she heard the door on the other side open, or when something rustled in the bushes. "I mean—won't people be able to smell it?"

"Relax," Nisa smiled. "I do this all the time."

Lotte made a face. "Is that healthy?" The other girl shrugged, not seeming to care whether or not she got caught. It was a habit, Lotte knew, for the smoke seemed to easily glide down Nisa's throat and into her lungs. It had seemed so natural to her, as if she had done it a hundred times over, and would for a hundred times more.

"Are you scared?" Nisa teased, leaning closer to smile at her. Lotte only duly noted the way her friend’s eyes lit up and thought it might not have been the cigarette Nisa had been craving. No, it had been the thrill.

"There are many things to be scared about," Lotte monotonously supplied, no longer very worried at all. "For instance; What if Wall Rose got attacked? Will my family be safe? How would Aide get away? Will they die for nothing, like so many before them?" Lotte paused. She felt stupid for aimlessly listing off her fears. But, perhaps, Nisa felt the same? "Will I be permitted to live a long life, or will I just become another MIA; just another forgotten soldier without a story or a name?"

"So, what you're saying is—"

"Your smoking escapades are the least of my worries."

"And? If I were to get caught?"

Lotte shrugged. "Last time I checked, I wasn't the one with a cigarette in my hand."

*

Lotte hadn't of been lying when she said Nisa's bad habits didn't much concern her. She didn't do much of that. Lying. Life was short, and as a soldier, it was destined to be shorter than the average, run-of-the-mill guy, and Lotte liked to keep things straight.

She didn't even much think of Nisa as she sat down to eat, despite the fact that the girl had been sitting directly across from her. It was surprisingly easy to block Nisa out, she found, for Nisa rarely had something to actually say. Sure, she talked a lot. But, it all meant a lot of nothing.

Instead, Lotte thought about Aide. And she thought about Jean. She had, for some reason unbeknownst to her, tried finding a common ground between the two males. And, when she could not find one, started picking apart each individual aspects of their personalities.

From what she knew, anyways.

She had always found Aide to be excitable, and with the smoothest of brown eyes, kind of categorized him with puppies. Theoretically harmless. But, whether or not they grew up this way all depended on how they were treated when they were small.

And, as Aide had had his leg bitten off at the age of fifteen...well, he hadn't of been treated well. Aside from the fact that he still had lingering pain—from memory or what, no one knew for sure—Aide's spirit had been shot. It was unlucky that he had been on parole at the time, unfortunate he had been so close to the action, /unfair his future had been taken away from him the day before it started.

But, the thing was, he wasn't bitter. Aide didn't blame anyone. He still smiled and laughed and joked with Lotte. But, with his sunken in, almost black eyes, Lotte could tell he wasn't the same person on the inside, anymore.

The truth was, Aide was an even more helpless puppy now than he was when he was fifteen. He hadn't of been skilled enough to make it into the Military Police, not like Nadia, and he would have never have made it in any other division.

Aide was too soft-hearted. He wasn't brave.

Jean Kirchstein, on the other hand, was cocky. He was rude, spiteful, and had such a well-rounded confidence it wrapped around his big head at least three times and suffocated him into vanity.

It's not that his confidence lay within his skill, because it didn't. He seemed somewhat hesitant at times and would often think too much about what had to be done. He was smart. Not as smart as Armin, but she could hardly compare their intellect. For, Jean's was different and had nothing to do with higher order thinking or factual statements written in some ancient book.

Jean Kirchstein was simply...practical.

"What the hell did you say?" Eren yelled, jumping to his feet just as Jean did. And, just like before, everyone else jumped to their feet, as well—the air filling with teenage angst and jacked up hormones.

The 104th trainees weren't exactly the most elegant, disciplined bunch. Well, at least Eren or Jean weren't.

Lotte took a calm sip of her beverage, watching in a sort of a muted fascination. She figured that before something serious could happen, something would break them apart, just as before. But, it was interesting to watch them argue over presumably nothing. For, both were talking about two conceived different things.

"They're at it, again," Nisa sighed, not even bothering to turn around. "If they ever got in a physical fight, who do you think would win?"

Lotte shrugged.

"My money's on Eren. He could really use that pent up anger for good use, y'know?"

"That's assuming he's got a clear enough head to do so. That anger might as well be his weakness."

Nisa nodded. "My money's still on the Yaeger kid."

"Elaborate."

"He's cuter."

Lotte rolled her eyes, the man that burst through the door discontinuing any form of conversation between the two of them. So far, the only redeeming quality he had.

And, after Mikasa had dispelled him, having brilliantly claimed 'Sasha had ripped a big one, sir,' for the accumulation of the noise he heard, Lotte got to amusedly watch as Jean tried complimenting the brilliant Mikasa. And, after tripping over his words, got rejected and written off as irrelevant to the brilliant Mikasa.

It was indeed a good night. And Lotte couldn't help but to stir up the humiliation and turmoil even more. For, just moments, moments, after Jean had complimented Mikasa's 'beautiful hair', Eren Yaeger had told her she ought to cut it.

And she agreed.

"Jean," Lotte chirped, pulling herself up on a rail to sit by him. "How's your night been?" She couldn't help the ridiculous grin off of her face. But, it didn't matter. He's seen her at worse.

"Oh, don't start, Rosing," he miserably groaned, leaning back to rest his elbows on the railing besides her. "You're a sadist for enjoying other people's pain, you know."

"Just yours," she laughed, leaning over to get a better view of his face. "So, you like girls like Mikasa, huh?"

Jean scowled. "Helluva lot better than liking girls like you, Rosing."

Lotte shrugged.

!~*~*~*!
Wow sorry wow. Jean’s mean. Lotte’s mean. Everyone’s mean. and that’s really all you need to know about this ok. sorry if the spacing is weird??????? my cimputer is doing weird things