Prologue.

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Dear Ashton,

When we stood at the airport, and you were about to turn around, I was crying. I was crying harder than I'd ever had. You whispered something in my ear, and then you left to catch your plane. I didn't want you to let me go, but you had to, of course. Your strong arms were now no longer around my much smaller ones, and your breath was no longer tickling against the side of my head. I most probably stood there for another 20 minutes after you left. I was not moving, not talking, only slowly breathing. And just then I remembered what you said, the moment you were about to leave.

'I love you, so much.'

But back at the moment you said it, the words didn't reach my ears. Don't ask me how they only reached them later when you were gone though, I guess they just did. And as much as I would've liked to reply with 'I love you too.' or maybe even with 'I love you more.' , those words never passed my lips. Not only because, if I said it the moment they reached my ears you wouldn't have heard it anyway because you were most probably already sitting in your seat on the plane, plugging in your headphones, and slowly falling asleep. But also, because I don't know what the words mean. You said you loved me, Ashton, but,

What exactly is love?

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