Teacups and Pens

Confession

When you make a mistake

out of frustration,

and you do something

you don’t necessarily regret

but you shouldn’t have done it,

it defines you.

Not in a labeling kind of way

but in an addictive way.

You do it once,

and you find yourself

falling into the same pattern,

over and over again.

“If you have to choose between two people,

choose the second one.

Because if you truly cared for the first one,

you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.”

But what if you choose the second one,

and they fuck you over?

What the hell are you

supposed to do then?

You can’t go back to the first one

because they are getting over you.

They are moving on.

The last thing they want

is for you to change your mind.

It’s not fair; for you or for them.

And that’s so fucking painful.

So, ultimately, you always lose.

Don’t do it once,

then you won’t have to struggle

with having to choose.

Every single time.

Habits are hard to break,

and this is mine.

My definitive mistake

that has caught me in a whirlpool

of pain, and confusion, and chaos.

My advice?

Just never make that mistake.