"Out." She hisses then pushes past me and slides open the door.
"I'll scream!" Cass turns back to me as I relax my face. She stands there deciding what to do. I can tell because she bites her lip when she's deciding. I don't know how long she stays there but long enough for me to yawn a few times. She finally sighs.
She comes back in closing the door behind her. She looks around to make sure mommy didn't wake up when she finds that she's still sleeping, she sighs again.
"Will you promise you won't tell mommy or by any circumstances follow me?" I look behind me as if I sense mommy behind me then turn back to Cass nodding slowly. She sits on the couch and lets out a breath. I don't sit next to her, I just stare at my feet as she tells me, "I'm going to the event."
I look up at her. She's going through the contents of her bag busying herself not looking at me. I shake my head.
"But daddy said-."
"I know but I don't care I'm going!" I open my mouth but she interrupts me. "I'm going with Miche and his family and I'm sorry but you can't come."
I look down so she doesn't see my eyes well up.
"Why not." Stay strong.
"Because I can't take care of you and if something happened to you..." Now she's tearing up. What would happen to her if something happened to me? What would I do if something happened to her? "I'm sorry. Please don't tell mom." When I don't respond she adds, "The event will be awfully boring anyway."
I look up at her. She's doing one of her tricks. I know it but I'm not falling for it.
"Naw."
"It's true. First, you wait for hours before with nothing to do but stare at each other." I cringe at the thought of a crowd standing doing nothing but staring at each other. "But when you watch it on the window screens, all the boring waiting is skipped so while I'm there staring into Miche's eyes" (something twinkles in her eyes like she's looking forward to that part) "you'll be here playing with dolls or playing tag with the neighbors or-."
"Painting?" I chirp.
"Yes and painting." I give her a sideways glance and smile. She smiles motioning for me to get up onto her lap. I giggle and climb up onto the couch and wrap my arms around her neck with my chest against her back instead. I giggle more as she stands up taking me up with her grabbing my legs so I don't fall, like a piggyback ride. She carries me toward the hall and to my room.
When we're safe in my room with the door closed, I whisper, "I love you Cass." like it's our little secret. She sets my head down on my pillow and tucks me in smiling.
"I love you too Milly." She kisses me on the forehead. She bends over and picks teddy up off the floor and tucks him in next to me. Naughty teddy always tries to escape in the night. I take him outside to play sometimes so he doesn't get sick because if you stay inside for to long you'll get house-sickness. I got him when I was born from Cass. She said she got it from a contest she won at school. She gave him too me so I can keep him company. He starting to rip so we will have to burn him. I could put his ashes in a necklace then I'd always by my side. That's what mommy and daddy did with their mommy and daddy.
Cass sits on the side of my bed running her fingers through my hair. She mouths the words goodnight. I shake my head.
"Could you sing me a song?" She raises an eyebrow.
"And wake mommy?" She shakes her head clicking her tongue. "When I get back, for sure." She starts to leave but I sit up and tug he back.
"Please. Just sing quietly. Mommy won't hear I know it.'' She sighs looking at the door.
"What song?"
"Lilly Milly." I don't miss a beat. She smiles.
"Close your eyes." When I do she quietly clears her throat and starts off with a quiet hum. "Lilly Milly, silly Willy..." I listen to her sing quietly letting my thoughts get absorbed into her voice. She has the most beautiful voice I have ever heard even her herself doesn't like it. I always tell her to sing for our community at special events or to be a public entertainer when she is old enough she'll be better then all the other ones. She always says no though because she doesn't like her own voice. Maybe she's trying to be like me because I don't like my singing either but I still do it anyway.
I fall asleep before she finishes the song but she sings on anyway because I'll know if she stops before she finishes. I always know. "And that's...Lilly Milly..." She finishes. She silently sits on the side of my bed sighing. "Sweet dreams Milly." I'm awake just enough to feel her hand pat mine and I hear her foot descend toward the door. "I'll be back."
The part of me that's awake wants to jump out of bed and beg her not to leave but the other tells me to sleep and it assures me she'll be fine. I listen to the latter.
And just like that, I hear the door open then close and she's gone.
• Chapter three/Promise •
Start from the beginning
