Seeing Colors

Chapter 19

"Of course, I'd never abandon Dec. He's my best friend."

Stephen smiled knowingly. "And your soulmate." Ant opened his mouth to deny it, but Stephen held up a hand. "I figured it out that day when you said it was my fault Dec was in the hospital after getting hit by that car. I just had a feeling that he was your soulmate, too."

Ant looked incredulously at him. "Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you ask me to back off?"

"Why would I do something like that? You're my best friend, and more importantly, you're Dec's," Stephen said. "I didn't tell you to back off because you weren't doing anything bad. All you were doing was looking after him and loving him," Stephen said. "And I'm glad that you're doing that, especially now that I won't be here to do that. You're the reason why I'm alright and accepted the fact that I'm gonna die: you've given me the peace of mind that even when I'm gone, Dec and the kids will still be loved greatly by someone else. So thanks, Ant. I love you, mate."

"I love you too, Stephen," Ant cried against Stephen's shoulder as he hugged him again. "And I promise you that I'll do anything for you, Dec, and the kids; I made that promise when the kids were born and I plan on sticking to it. I promise you, man, that Dec and the kids will be loved and taken care of until my dying day."

"Just make sure you don't follow me to the other side too soon," Stephen quipped.

Ant looked at Stephen in disbelief. He couldn't believe that Stephen was still able to make little jokes, especially in his situation. "Unbelievable," Ant chuckled.

"You know I am," Stephen smirked.

That was the last Ant saw of Stephen alive.

------

After Ant's conversation with Stephen, it was Dec and the twins' turn to talk to him. The twins ran into the room, both with smiling faces, both oblivious of what their parents had to tell them. They climbed onto Stephen's hospital bed and gave him huge hugs.

Stephen shared a somber look with Dec as their twins hugged him.

"You've been asleep for a while, Dada." Ollie said, unaware as to why Stephen has been unconscious.

"Yeah, we haven't talked in a while, Dada," Mika added as she nuzzled Stephen's neck.

"Sorry, guys. Dada hasn't been well the past few days." Stephen may have told Ant that he has accepted that he was gonna die, but now that his kids were in front of him, he's not so sure he feels the same. He doesn't want to be the one to explain to them that by this time tomorrow, he's not gonna be with them anymore. Stephen looked at Dec in hope that he'll tell the kids, but his husband just looked on.

"But you're okay now, right, Dada?" Mika gazed up at his father with those blue eyes that were identical to his.

Stephen's heart broke a little at his daughter's innocent question. He helplessly looks over to Dec, but the shorter man just sat there at the foot of the bed, trying his best not to burst out crying. "No, Dada's not okay."

"How come?" Ollie asked. At the same time, the twins sat up and looked expectantly at Stephen.

"You know that Dada's been in a car accident, right?" Stephen started. The twins, with little frowns on their faces, nodded. "Well, in that accident, Dada got hurt really bad and the parts that I need to live aren't working right anymore."

"But you're gonna get better, right?" Ollie asked, not fully understanding what Stephen was trying to say. "The people with the funny clothes can fix you, right?"

Stephen ran his hand through Ollie's hair. "No, mate. They can't fix Dada. I'm too broken."

"But what does that mean if they can't fix you?" Ollie started to sniffle.

That was the question Stephen was dreading. "Well, do you remember last year when we had that pet guinea pig for a little bit?" Ollie nodded. "And do you remember how he didn't last long with us because he had to go to heaven?" Ollie's face crumpled as he nodded. "Well...the same thing is going to happen to Dada. I'm gonna have to go to heaven."

"No! You're superman, Dada. You're not allowed to go to heaven yet! You're supposed to be always strong! You're fine!" Mika shouted angrily.

Ollie, who was sensitive like Dec, started to cry. Dec moved closer to Ollie and started trying to calm him down, while Stephen focused on Mika. "I'm sorry, Mika, but Dada isn't fine."

"Well, then I'll give you kisses to make you stronger and better again." Mika got closer to Stephen and started to rain his face with kisses.

Once Mika started to try desperately to make him better, the tears started to fall from Stephen and Dec's eyes. "Mika, stop," Stephen begged through tears. "Stop." He cupped his daughter's chubby cheeks and held her still. "I'm sorry, hon, but the kisses won't work this time."

"But you're superman..."

"I know, honey." Stephen pulled her into a hug and kissed her on her temple. He broke away from the hug and looked her in the eyes. "But Daddy is still gonna be here with you and Ollie. He can be your new superman," Stephen smiled weakly at her.

"No, Dada! You're my superman!" She shouted before burying her head onto his chest.

Dec, who had been silent the whole time, finally spoke up. "Honey, please understand that Dada wants to continue being your superman, but there's just nothing he can do about it."

Mika picked her head up and looked at Dec through tearful eyes. "But, Daddy!"

This broke both parents' hearts even further. Not knowing what to say, Stephen pulled Dec and Ollie close, as well as Mika, and just held on his family tightly. He allowed the kids to cry out all their tears before trying to speak to them again.

Still huddled together, Stephen said, "Look, I'm sorry that Dada can't get better for you two. And since that's the case, I want you two to be strong for each other and for Daddy." He glanced at Dec, who was holding on to Ollie as if he was his life preserver. "And also, I want you to know that I love you so, so much! I'll love you guys forever and ever!" He kissed Ollie and Mika on the forehead.

"We love you too, Dada!" The twins says back in unison. They snuggle back up to Stephen, both resting their heads on either side of Stephen's shoulders.

"Now, I need you to promise something for me." The two peeked up at their father, both paying close attention. "I want you to promise me that you will look after each other and look after Daddy as well. I want you all to be happy, even when I'm gone."

Ollie looked at Stephen with a confused expression on his face. "But, how Dada? How can we be happy when you're gone?"

"It won't be easy, mate, but you'll feel better after a while and you'll feel happier," Stephen replied. "And once you and Mika are happier, I want to make sure that Daddy is happy, too."

Dec rolled his teary eyes as if to say that it would be impossible for him to be happy again.

Stephen smiled a little bit at Dec's sassy reaction. "Also, I want you to help Daddy move on. Help him find someone that will love him as much as I do." He was directing it to the kids, but he was looking at Dec as he said it.

Dec did not like it, to say the least. "Don't be daft, Stephen. There's no one else that can love me as much as you and even if there was someone out there that can come close to doing that, they'll never get that love in return from me," Dec says sternly. "You're my one and only soulmate. No one can ever replace you in my heart."

Stephen took Dec's hand and pulled him close so that he's cuddled up to him as well. "Okay, well, I at least want you to go on with your life. I want you to continue on being that cheeky chap I fell in love with; I don't want him to die with me." He pressed a kiss on Dec's temple. "Please, at least, try to do that for me."

"I'll live for the kids, but I won't have anything to do with this 'finding someone new' nonsense. The kids are all I need."

Not really wanting to fight, Stephen concedes, despite not completely agreeing with what Dec said. "Okay, that's all I need to hear," he says before kissing Dec on the lips. "I love you, Decs."

Dec gazed at Stephen, etching his face into memory. "I love you too, Stevie."