Watch and Learn

2. Day in My Life

Diary Entry: Kira 04.26.2005

Every morning, I wake up to complete silence. I can hear the squirrels dash across my front yard as they disturb the soft swaying of the green grass. I listen to my hamster's steady, soft breathing on my bedside table and I smile to myself... Until I remember I have school. Yes, I can write poetically according to what I just wrote. If I haven't clarified already, I hate my life.
Not that I hate myself, that's lying because I do, but I hate everyone around me. I don't understand the concept of going to school if you can do the same at home. All you do at school is learn and do stupid activities, for example, socialising and eating burnt scones that your friend made. Oh, and that "friend" is so desperate for other people to like them that they are asking their parents to waste money on a concrete jail to put you in an environment where people still don't like you. See what I mean? WHAT IS THE POINT?!? Learning at home is the same thing, except it's free. I do nothing else in my life. No extra sports or activities, nothing. All I do is sit on my bed, go on my phone and pray that some psycho maniac comes through my window and murders me.
  I know I shouldn't be like this, but I am self conscious. Everything is either too big or too small. I always feel like an uncoordinated newborn lamb that can't find its mother. On a more serious note, all that really goes through my mind is suicide and death.
  If my life sucks so much, I don't understand the point of me living. My parents have always told me that everything happens for a reason, but I don't know what my reason is. My life is hard and it sucks. Some days, I wish that I could be Tara. Her life seems so easy, but we can't talk about that, or anything for that matter, because there's one problem.