Dear Reader,
Fuck you. I'm writing this shit as a joke. I mean really? As of writing this 6 people have read this. SIX! Who the fuck sees a story named "The little snail that could" and decides to read it?? I'm still gonna keep writing this dumb shit with or without you (#U2) and I'm gonna raise this baby on my own! You know why? Because I am a strong, young, independent black woman and I don't take no shit from a snail with a name like Roberto Pablo Escobar. Okay, sorry... I got a little off track there. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, this stupid story. Basically the general run down of it is that it's not supposed to be taken seriously. So if you don't like it, that's great! If you do, then there might be something seriously wrong with you, but hey! More power to you guy that needs to wear a bike helmet everywhere and isn't allowed to pet dogs because he pets them way too hard and pulls their tail and then is surprised when their dumbass gets bit. Also this story will get very intense at some points, so if you get offended at any point, stop reading. I get a message about something being offensive then you're getting a "Fuck you, Pussy" in response. It's 2016 God damnit! And I am a God that has power over snails! Anyway, enjoy.
With much love,
Kyle Dooley & Robert Pablo Escobar
YOU ARE READING
The Little Snail That Could
Non-FictionJoin this brave little snail, Roberto, as he sets out on an epic adventure through the barren waste lands of the big city. He faces many dangers, and conquers his fears. Read and help him succeed in eating broccoli for the first time and do laundry...
