Adopted

Late Night Cuddles

Louis is taken by surprise when Harry says that. For as long as he's known Harry, he's always just assumed the boy was oblivious to just how much he is watched and coddled.

"Okay then...Let's talk," Louis says.

"'Bout what?"

The blue eyed boy chuckles. "It's your idea. You choose."

"Ummm," Harry thinks aloud. "Who's your best friend?"

"Isn't that an obvious answer?"

Harry shrugs and hides his face, afraid of his answer.

"You, Harry. You're my best friend."

The younger's face brightens up so much Louis doesn't need any sort of light to see the giant smile on his face. "Good. Happy it's not those meanies from today."

Louis' chest pangs. He sighs and pulls away from Harry a few inches to see him better. "You know I'm sorry, don't you?"

Harry nods.

"I really didn't mean to ignore you."

"I know," Harry says.

"And then when I saw you were gone..well I felt my heart stop. I don't think I was ever so scared in my life."

Louis, caught up in his own thoughts, doesn't expect a response. He understands that this topic may be hard for Harry to grasp. But then again, the more he talks to Harry the more he learns just how badly he's underestimates his intelligence and emotional capacity.

"I just.... I keep thinking that nobody cares about me anymore," Harry quietly says.

"That's far from the truth. Harry I care about you more than anyone I've ever met," Louis says, taking Harry's hand and massaging around his knuckles.

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"But those girls...You ignored me when they were around," the boy squeaks out, afraid that he'll upset Louis.

"I'm such an idiot," the older boy says.

Neither boy says anything after that. It's quiet for the next ten minutes. The moon is no longer shining directly through the window and the room is dark. They can barely see each other, but they both feel better in each other's embrace.

"Louis," Harry breaks the silence.

"Yeah?"

"I wasn't trying to scare you or make you feel bad."

"What are you talking about, Hazza?"

"Today. I tried telling you but those girls were being too loud and you couldn't hear me. I just wanted a drink. I couldn't find Daddy so I went to the drinking fountain. Then I saw a blinky light," Harry explains.

"Honestly," Louis says," I thought you ran off because I was a jerk. And even if you did, I wouldn't blame you. Nobody deserves to be ignored like that."

"Just don't want you to be upset," Harry tells him.

"Well, no matter what I probably will hate myself for today," the older boy confesses.

"I don't want you to."

"H, I can't be a failure big brother again."

"Huh," Harry asks.

"Nothing...just forget I said anything," he says, pulling Harry closer.

"Loulou, did you have another little brother," Harry asks innocently.

Louis sighs, considering the conversation. Harry doesn't seem like he's very little right now. He's displayed during this conversation that he can talk about things that normally he can't. But what would Louis do if he reacts badly and cries?

"No, I never had a little brother," he says. "But I had two little sisters."

"What were they like?"

Louis shakes his head. "I honestly don't remember. I never spent time with them. Was always too concerned with doing bad things to get to know them. But they were adorable, I remember that."

"Where are they now," Harry asks.

"Heaven I hope," Louis says more to himself than Harry. "My family... they died in a car crash when I was 16."

"Oh," Harry sadly says.

It's quiet yet again. The air is heavy and so is Louis' throat. He holds Harry to his chest and just listens to the boy's breathing, hoping it will calm him down some. It does. Louis doesn't regret leaving his crib and crawling into Harry's, even though it's probably breaking a ton of rules set by the daddies. He doesn't regret cuddling and talking with the boy even though he knows sleep is precious to Harry. But he does regret allowing the conversation to be so sad. Harry doesn't deserve any negative feelings in his mind. That boy deserves happiness and positivity more than anyone.

Louis kisses Harry's forehead before pulling away and lying on his back with a hand cradling the back of his head. He stares up at the dark ceiling and thinks about the past month and how literally every single thing has changed.

"You know," he starts. "I keep thinking about why I'm here. And I guess there isn't any way to prove this, but I think it might be God...or the universe or whatever that brought me here. It's like I was given a second chance, but this time with a family that actually loves each other. I always did want parents who treated me well, and Daddy and Papa have been amazing. Probably better than any biological daddies. And then there's you. Fate brought me to you and you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Harry. I want to be there for you...with you through everything for the rest of our lives. I want to be the best big brother because you deserve nothing less. I want to be your best friend. Your soulmate. God, I probably sound like such a sap right now. But I just...I really want you to know how much I love you and I don't want you to think I don't care. I'm just an idiot sometimes."

Perhaps it's not the most ideal lifestyle. Never in a million years would Louis have imagined himself lying in an oversized crib, wearing a onesie and a diaper, and still being content. He's the happiest he's ever been and though it doesn't make sense, he wouldn't have it any other way. As long as Harry is by his side he's okay.

Harry shuffles in closer to his brother and lays his body partially on top of Louis. He has a leg wrapped around the other boy's and his ear is pressed to Louis' chest, listening to every heart beat reminding him that he isn't alone anymore. Louis loves him. Daddy and Papa love him.

The youngest smiles to himself and drifts to sleep with one final, "I love you, Louis."