In June 1914, some asshole from Serbia (not gonna name any names but his name is Gavrilo Princip and he looks like crack cocaine Charlie Chaplin) shot the very very important archduke Franz Ferdinand of Alliteration Austria because he was all like "Austria-Hungary sucks!!1!1!!!!!!1!!!1! My country is better!!!!!" But the rest of the world didn't like that because this is like some huge middle school drama so a month later, Austria-Hungary gathered all their main hoes and declared war on Serbia all because a little shit didn't like another guy so he decided the only way to deal with his feelings was to murder the other guy and Austria-Hungary went all super saiyan on Serbia's ass. Anyways, Austria-Hungary invaded Serbia's VITTAALLLL REEEGGGIIIIOOONNSSS, and since Russia was Serbia's friend and they had a bff alliance, they russed in and was like "no bitch u can't do that to my main ho Serbia". Meanwhile, Germany was like "hey!!! I wanna be an asshole too!!!!!!!" So Germany bullied Belgium and Luxembourg and was about to move on to bully France when the UK stepped in and was like "Nooooo u can't do thattttttt IM the one that gets to bully France,,,,, no one else can!!!" And declared war on Germany. Germany was like "ok fine" and they had the Western Front (comes with a trench line for a low price of PEOPLE!!!) put aside for the specific purpose of a battle of attrition, which means they bullied them but in a nicer way until France ran out of shit to defend themselves with. On the Eastern Front, the Russians beat the shit out of the Austro-Hungarians, but when they tried to invade East Prussia's VIIITTTALL REGGGIONNS, they were stopped by the Germans because Prussia was too awesome to be invaded. Such brotherly love. In November 1914, the Ottoman Empire decided that it wanted to get involved with the drama and bully people and actually have a reason to. A year later, Italy was like "holy macaroni its time to stop" and joined the Allies. Bulgaria was like "nooo we have to bully" and joined the Central Powers. A year after that, Romania couldn't stand the drama and jumped in. The US was trying to be a good shit and ignore the drama but in 1917, they were like "its wednesday my dudes its time for the hero to stop all this diddly twack". Even though Russia and America didn't really like each other because C O M M U N I S M ☭ and F R E E D O M don't go along together very well, they were on the same side so they had to teAM W O R K. Conveniently, the same year, Russia's goverment collapsed and the Russians revolted, so Russia signed a treaty and russed out of the war, resulting in a giant German victory. They probably had a giant German sparkle party to celebrate. So the war went on its merry way for another year, and in sprrrrring 1918, the Allies decided that it was time to s t o p and drove the sparkle Germans off their groove. In November, Austria-Hungary was like "bros we're tired of fighting this is too much exercise" and signed an armistice. Germany was having troubles with it's own German sparkle revolutions, so they signed an armistice too and so the Allies won and they redrew lines on the world so everyone got new borders (some empires were killed because of this-- 11/10 do not recommend). They also made the League of Nations where everyone was forced to be friends so no one could take over the world again, but look how fucking well that turned out.
