// Sad Phan Stories //

Part 2

PHIL POV

I grabbed Dan's hand and squeezed it gently as we sat down across from the doctor. I could already feel tears pricking my eyes. The doctor opened his clipboard.
'Mr and Mr Howell, I really hate saying this to patients. There's no easy way to say this, but there's nothing we can do to save her. I'm dreadfully sorry. She is to pass away in the next 24 hours.' The doctor said, looking down at his paperwork. Our beautiful baby girl. She has a heart defect. She's not going to make it. Our first baby. Why did it have to happen to us? I felt tears pricking my eyes and before I knew it I was sobbing into Dan's chest. I felt Dan's tears drop onto my head. It had to happen to us. Of course. I couldn't stop the tears that streamed down my face.
'You're welcome to spend the last of her time with her if you would like.' The doctor said quietly, looking down at his paperwork. I looked up at Dan and he nodded.
'As you wish.' We followed the doctor out of the room and into a small, dark dorm. In there was a single incubator with Alice inside. Her breathing was short and raspy. We sat down either side of her and I reached over her to grab Dan's hand. With my other I reached inside and slipped my finger inside Alice's tiny hand. She squeezed it ever so gently and I smiled, tears threatening to spill. She was so beautiful. I heard Dan choke on a sob, which set me off. I rested my head on the edge of the incubator and cried. I couldn't hold it back anymore.
'I... I love you. I love you so much. Please look over me and keep me safe. I love you my little angel.' I managed to say. I sobbed helplessly as Dan squeezed my hand. She coughed ever so quietly and her grip on my finger relaxed as she took her last breath. I let out a loud sob, before a demon of tears took over my body. I covered my mouth, sobs wracking my body. I hate my life. Why did this happen to me? Doctors and nurses rushed into the room and wheeled the incubator out. I was left with my thoughts and Dan walked over to comfort me, even though he was just as utterly shell-shocked and miserable as me. I stood up and he wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me tight. I tucked my fists under my chin and gripped Dan's sweater. We cried in each other's arms and I felt as if my heart had been ripped out, thrown on the ground and stomped on multiple times. Dan rubbed my back and we swayed. Our poor, poor Alice.

Rest In Peace baby. I will remember you forever.