Lessons On Kissing Guys (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 16

Blair inhales sharply as my fingertips brush his lips, and I feel the rush of air harshly against the palm of my hand. "Yes?"

"I-" Deep breath. I can't do it. "You make me happy. Thank you." I know the sincerity is leaking from each word and it makes me feel so damn vulnerable but it's what I am. In this moment, I am vulnerable and filled with emotions and fear, the likes of which I'd never known existed in me. Filled with love I am afraid to show in case I wear out his name on my lips. I'm scared. 

Falling is difficult. Falling often hurts. This isn't something I've done before. I mean, one night stands don't exactly compare to three weeks living with a guy I still barely know, yet I feel like I've known him my whole life. It doesn't make any sense, but I don't care. I'd be willing to sacrifice everything, no matter how much sense this whole thing makes.

And so we lay there. I don't know how long passes in complete silence, but all I can hear is our deep breathing and all I can feel is the tingle of my fingertips. It's as if they're the only part of me that is really alive, as I brush my fingers along his lips once more.

"I think- I think I need to sleep." He yawns, finally, and I can tell that he's a lot more tired than I'd realised. Immediately, I remove my hand from his cheek, where it had rested, instead intertwining my fingers with his.

"This okay?" I whisper the words, not wanting to startle him awake.

"Perfect." His voice almost can't be heard, but the word makes me smile.

"I love you." I know he doesn't hear me. He's fast asleep. And I love him.

When I wake up, I feel more refreshed than I have in days. My hands is resting on Blair's waist, and he's still deep in sleep, by the looks of it. Trying not to disturb him, I shuffle closer to him, wrapping my arm around his waist as I do so. I'm closer to him than I've ever been, especially considering our semi-nakedness. But gosh, it feels like no matter how close I am, it's not enough. Then again, maybe I should stop being so greedy.

My left hand reaches out to fiddle with his hair as he breathes deeply, looking so content. I like it. I love it, in fact. Just the way he looks when he's sleeping, as if all is right in the world. It makes me think that all is, in fact, right in the world. In reality though, there's a lot of shit going on. But I don't care about that at all. I'm just happy. 

And I really need to work on not sounding so sappy, I mean, what if Blair is telepathic or something?! That would be the end of me, I mean, I don't need him knowing that he's the only one who can make my thoughts sound like those of a love-struck teenage girl. 

As if he really can hear my thoughts, Blair chuckles a little. To be honest, it kind of creeps me out. I seriously hope he's not telepathic. And if he is, I hope he'd have the decency to actually tell me so that I can block off my thoughts or something.

"Lucas." My name slips out of his mouth as a whisper, startling me so much that I jump backwards. Obviously, being the clumsy fella that I am, I then proceed to fall off the bed, landing on the floor with a thump that ends up waking Blair up. This day is off to a fantastic start. 

As I stand up, trying not to make any more noise (not that it would matter, as Blair is yawning himself awake anyway), I remember that I have a job to be at. I don't know what time it is, but considering that the sun is shining like it's nobody's business, I probably don't have that long to be ready.

I try to remember what time it was that I have to be there. What were my hours, what were my hours, come on Lucas, think, hours, hours. Midday! That's it. Midday till six, Monday to Friday. I should probably write that down somewhere.