I'm not completely sure how I figured out I was transgender. In the beginning I always had doubts about who I really was. It took longer than needed to figure out because society wanted me In dresses, makeup and things I didn't understand. I always felt wrong when wearing dresses and they were too...not me.
At first I questioned my sexuality, not gender. Was I bi? Gay? What? One day I was reading up an article explaining what being bisexual really meant when I stumbled upon a link for something called gender fluid. I thought that's what I was since I was biologically female but I felt more male. I was so wrong.
I never thought to consider being transgender until I stumbled upon a YouTube channel called 'TheRealAlexBertie'. I became Intrigued.
It was during the night when I realised, I was binge watching Alex when I thought about everything. I thought about how I felt, how I always would write as If I were a boy and all things like that when It all sank In.
'I'm transgender.' I thought to myself while Alex was playing In the background of my mind. I didn't want to believe myself but It made so much sence. When I went to school, where my best friend thought I was gender fluid, I tried to tell myself I was wrong. Was I wrong? No. Did I want to be wrong? God yes, but for all the wrong reasons.
I would have to thank my sister, Charlie, my best friend and Alex for helping realise who the real me was. Most of all, I have to thank society for being so judgemental because It was what pushed me forward when I stepped back.
I blame society and gender roles for making me feel, well...not me. People want you a certain way, perfect. I feel more at peace with myself than I ever have when I finally accepted who I was. Oh, and the sexuality part, I'm Panasexual.
This Is me, Sebastian Vel, and this Is my story about being transgender.
