Out Of Desperation // Harry Styles

15

JENNA'S POV:

What an exhausting day. I think it was actually more exhausting TALKING about what happened, than it actually was to LIVE it. I really think so.

And damn this IV. It aches! I didn't FEEL dehydrated. I'm sure I could have just drank some water, couldn't I? I guess there's special electrolytes in this solution. Hospital Gatorade, if you will. I'd still rather drink it.

I miss Harry. I miss him so much. Is he forgetting about me? Since we're not in that intense circumstance anymore....will he still like me? I hope so. But if he doesn't, I wouldn't be mad. I mean, I'm just a fan. I'm nobody. It was fun to talk about escaping and being together in real life, but I'm sure he has much better, busier things to do. Much more famous and talented people to associate with.

Not that it wouldn't KILL me, though, to be done with him. I truly do love him.

And I didn't even have to wonder if I loved him because of who he was. That was the good part. No wonder he had kept his identity from me.
I can't be mad at him for that anymore. He was right. I'd always have to wonder if I loved him for HIM, or for who he was.

But now I don't. I was totally in love with him before I knew. Him being Harry Styles actually complicated things, rather than make it better, honestly. There was a part of me that was sort of disappointed that he was a celebrity. Because he'd never be just....mine. I'd always have to share him with the world.

And relationships with celebrities never work out. Even when BOTH parties are celebs, so me NOT being one....yeah....it would never work.

I have to stop thinking. I have to stop trying to save myself, and talk myself out of him. Last I heard, he loved me. And I love him. Hopefully he hasn't changed his mind ALREADY, right?

The way he held me today in that wheelchair? The way he cried so hard that his entire body was banging against me? The way he looks at me directly in the eyes.....there's no way he doesn't love me.

Unless he's as good at acting as he is at music. Heh.

I just know that this has been a LONG AS.S FIFTEEN MINUTES!

I had like 2 hours to tell my entire story to the police and the doctor. I had a visit from Brooke. I'd been blood tested, examined, questioned, fed, had a shower, and even a few short naps in between. And I STILL haven't seen Harry.

The paparazzi probably got to see Harry earlier, and I didn't.

Dammit, I want him to be holding me right now. I want to feel the tingles. His warmth. I want to be safe in his arms. I want to nuzzle my face into his neck and smell his skin. I want to run my fingers through his disheveled curls. I want to feel his soft, stubbly facial hair on my cheeks. I want his lips on mine. God, I miss him!!!

Hopefully tomorrow they'll let us be together. Maybe we can leave tomorrow, actually. We're fine, right? They're just checking us over, making sure. I'm fine. Right? Harry's fine, right?

I don't know what all that blood was on his mouth earlier...or what really happened in the room with Marcus, or how Vince caught him....IS he ok?

Is he still in the next room? What if he's not? What if he's hurt?

Stop it Jenna. Just stop. He's fine.

More tears welled up in my eyes. My face was still puffy and soaked from crying all day. Crying while I told the entire story. Crying while I told Brooke as much as I wanted to tell her, which wasn't much...mostly about Harry. Crying from relief and exhaustion when I drifted off into naps....