Out Of Nothing At All

Part Eleven

He really had no fucking clue did he?

"Have your own way for once?! Are kidding me right now?! You're having your own way all the fucking time! And now I'm supposed to be grateful that you found it in yourself to be a decent human being and inform the father of your child? Don't act like you did me a huge motherfucking favour!"

"If I'm getting my own way all the time it's because this child is inside MY fucking body and not yours. I'm the one that has to live with the stretch marks. I'm the one that has to deal with pushing this thing out of me. I'm the one that will have to look after it and be stuck with it, if you suddenly decide you've had enough and leave. Because it's always down to the woman Spencer. I should have never fucking involved you at all. I knew you'd get like this, all high and mighty, you always do."

"I always do?! Don't act like you fucking know me! And are you just gonna keep playing the "I"m the one going through all the pain" card every single time? Because if you are please tell me so I can ask Obama if he'll give you a fucking medal for it and I'll make sure to bow every time you enter a room. Clearly you just want me to praise you and I can't ever have an opinion or want anything myself. This isn't just about you so please stop being so damn selfish!"

You voice cracked as you yelled back. "Selfish?!? I'M being selfish? I'm sorry but who's the one who dragged me to see his own mother. The first time I meet the woman and it's so you can tell her I'm pregnant? I wasn't ready to tell our parents yet."

"You're throwing that in my face NOW? Really?! You should've said something then, not afterwards! In that case can we talk about how Hotch has been to all of your appointments and I've been to...let me think...oh right, NONE"

"Would you have listened to me if I had? No... Cos you never listen to anyone else. And fucking leave Hotch out of it. He's been there for me, not judging me like you seem to be doing every step of the way."

"I would have been there for you if I had known about it sooner but you shut me out! I'm trying to make up for the time I wasn't there to care for my unborn child because you robbed me of that chance, by trying to provide and I just wanted to buy her crib so I'm close to her when she sleeps in some way, because I don't get to hold her in my arms when she sleeps every night. But you just had to go and wave your money around AGAIN, completely ignoring my feelings."

"I appreciate your sentiment Spencer, I really fucking do. But I DIDN'T WANT TO INVOLVE YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE. Get that into your thick head. If I had my choice, you would have never found out."

"So now I have to just kiss your feet and agree with everything you do and say? I don't get to want anything because you did me this huge favour and I owe you forever?"

"Pretty much Spencer. Like I said, think yourself lucky I decided to let you be involved at all. Because in my original plan, you were so far out of the picture you were in another country."

"Actually, in your original plan our daughter would be dead!"

"Excuse me?!"

"You heard me! I overheard you talking to my mom. Tell me, how could you have lived with yourself if you had gone through with that because I honestly wonder. I'm clearly the only one who actually cares for this child because terminating never ever would've crossed my mind."

"Get out."

He didn't move.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE REID."

His mouth opened and closed a few times, and suddenly seemed to realise that he'd crossed a line.

"Y/N..... I'm..... That came out wrong."

"OUT. GET OUT. GET OUT!" You screamed at him over and over.

He looked long and hard before finally deciding that he should comply with your demands.

"I'm sorry Y/N."

You slammed the door and locked it behind him before collapsing to the floor in tears.

He was right though.... You didn't want this baby originally. How were you going to be a good mother to her?

How could you care for something you'd hated so intensely that you'd wanted it to die? What if she knew?

You rocked back and forward on the floor for a full half an hour before you found the strength to pick yourself back up again.

And then you did what you always did when you were upset and stressed.

Well, not quite. You couldn't down a bottle of wine in your current condition so you'd settle for the next best thing.

A nice hot bath.

You collected towels and your pajamas. It was only 5pm but there was no point in getting dressed again.

Dimming the lights in the bathroom, you rested your phone on the chair next to the tub, setting it to silent and turning it face down so you couldn't see it light up as Spencer text you apology after apology, now clearly terrified that you'd cut him out of her life altogether. Let him stew for a bit.

You undressed and settled into the water, leaning back and closing your eyes.

The day had started off so well. So nice, you and Spencer actually getting on and almost acting like a family.

When the store employees or other shoppers had smiled at you both and asked how far along and how long you'd been together, you'd just grinned and played along, letting them believe you and him were an actual couple. It was.... easier. And he'd seemed to enjoy it too, spinning stories about how you'd met at college or been high-school sweethearts.

How the two of you could change towards each other so quickly was ridiculous. Nice and almost caring one minute, to breathing fire at each other the next. You really were going to have to sit and have it out with him properly.

He needed to get over the fact that you hadn't told him and stop holding it against you. The facts were; that he did now know and you wanted him to be a part of the kids life. You didn't need him to be a part of it, but wanted him to be.

You sighed and shifted against the water, feeling a strange sensation.

Opening your eyes you saw that the water looked a funny colour.

It was.... Pink. Like, you'd started your period or something.

Period.

Blood.

Your eyes widened in horror and your pushed your hand between your thighs seeing a fresh streak of red as you pulled it away.

Oh god.... Oh god no.

Please no, not this.

You grabbed your phone and dialed.