Out Of Nothing At All

Part Seven

"Pardon?"His eyebrows raised at you, his mouth set.

"I'm sorry." Louder this time, still not looking at him.

"Well that's a start I guess. How long have you known?" Oh joy...... interrogation time.

"Six weeks."

"So you've lied to my face for six weeks? How does Hotch know?"

"Technically I've not lied Reid. I just didn't tell you. And Hotch was with me when I found out. The case where I ended up making an emergency trip to the hospital?"

He nodded, recalling and for once not making a snarky "I told you so" comment.

"Is the baby okay? Is it healthy? Are you okay?"

"Yes, yes and physically yes."

"So you're physically okay but not mentally? Explain please."

"Well I hadn't exactly got 'get knocked up by my work colleague' written into any of my planners or calenders. But I've accepted that it's happened." You shrugged your shoulders.

"I thought you told me you were on the pill anyway?"

"I was. But I'm not very good at taking it. Hence why I told you we needed condoms that night." You'd been offered other types of contraception by your Doctor, but had declined them all, not liking the idea of having anything inserted inside of you or having the time to go and get a shot every three months. But you were a walking example of why the contraceptive pill wasn't an ideal option for people who were constantly pulled from pillar to post.

"But we used condoms? I distinctly remember stopping to have to put one on. And you whining at me to hurry up." Ugh, you had. You, begging him to hurry up and put it in you, something you never in million years thought would happen. You shuddered at the memory.

"Think Spencer......" His eyes shifted to the ceiling as he thought back, and then the penny dropped.

"The third time........Shit.That was my fault."

"It's no ones fault Reid. We're both as equally responsible for it."

"Exactly."

"Huh?"

"What you've just said. If we were both equally responsible for you getting pregnant, then we are both equally responsible for the outcome of that pregnancy. I'm not walking away from this. I won't be like my father and abandon my child."

You knew his father had walked out on he and his mom when he was a child, which had been another reason you'd not wanted to tell him. You knew that there was no chance he'd make the same mistakes his own Dad had and leave you to raise this child alone. But you'd wanted to do it alone. And now........Your plans were going to have to change again to accommodate someone else.

Taking a deep breath, you met his gaze. "I know."

"You know? What does that even mean Y/N?" Why was he insisting on making this so hard for you?

"I know you're not going to walk away."

"And I'm not letting you walk away from me either, not with my child. I meant what I said Y/N. I'll take you to court if I have to. I don't care what it costs. This could be my only chance at have a child."

"I know. You won't have to. We'll......We'll work something out. Between us. I won't take her away from you. I swear it."

"Her?" His voice was suddenly questioning and soft, a complete contrast the the harsh, bitterness of a few moments ago.
You smiled realising he didn't know, how could he?

"Yes. Her. We found out today."

"We?" Harsh again.

"Hotch came with me." You winced, knowing how it sounded.

"So are you and he a thing now too? Is that why he was so concerned about you?"

"No. He's been the only one I've been able to talk to about this, that's all. He's been very good to me as both a friend and an employer and I asked him to go with me. There's nothing going on between me and Aaron, he's more like a Dad to me than anything."

"Okay, well that changes. I'm coming with you to all of your appointments now. All right?" Not really, but you'd allow it.

"Fine.
"
"Good."

"Spencer.......Do you want to see her?"

"Can I?" His eyes lit up.

You moved over to him,pulling your phone out and sitting next to him. Flicking through to your video collection, you selected the one you'd taken earlier today, small 30 second clip, and pressed play.

Spencer leaned in close and you heard his breathing stop as he watched the screen, the loud whooshing of your babies heartbeat filling the room.

"That's her? She's so........small."

You waited for him to start reeling of facts about how many centimetres long she would be and how the blood vessels and veins would still be visible through her paper thin skin and how her ears would now be set in their final position, but he didn't. Instead he touched the screen, replaying the video.

"That's my baby........I.........I made that?"

The emotion in his voice breaking through your barriers and you felt it tugging on your heartstrings. There was no way you could block him out of this now. Your eyes moved to his face, seeing him quickly swipe away a tear.

"We made that Spencer. Together." You whispered. "We'll find a way to raise her....Together."

His eyes met yours and you placed a hand on his arm.

"Thank you." He murmured.