He was only supposed to be her daughter's doctor. Their relationship was supposed to be professional, nothing more. But somewhere along the way, they crossed the line from professional to romantic. They didn't know when it happened, but they were su...
"No," I whispered, hurrying into the trauma room. Ethan held me back. "Ethan, let me go." I growled.
"You can't go in there, Ross." He stated. "You have to let them work."
"That's my girlfriend!" I ripped myself out of his grasp, whirling around to face him. "How do you expect me to just stand here while she's in there dying?" This wasn't happening. I was dreaming. I would wake up any minute and Blake would be right next to me, fast asleep.
He roughly grabbed my shoulders, his eyes staring deeply into mine. "You can't think like that. You'll go crazy if you think the worse."
I harshly wiped at my eyes, the burn behind them increasing. I pulled myself out of his grasp, slowly moving towards the door. I stared through the window, fighting the urge to breakdown and cry as they shocked her, her body convulsing upwards. No heart rate appeared on the heart monitor, resulting in a flatline.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
This time I did cry.
I let the tears flow, my cheeks becoming wetter by the second. My breathing became ragged, my chest beginning to feel like it was about to collapse. Each time they shocked her, a sob escaped.
Get her heart beating. Get her heart beating.
I roughly wiped my face before bursting into the room, just as Dr. Finley shouted, "We got a pulse."
I almost collapsed in relief.
"How bad?" I asked, not recognizing my own voice. I scanned over her body, forcing any sobs I had down my throat. The upper portion of her body was covered with splatters of blood, lacerations on her head being the cause. Her left arm was discolored, shards of glass penetrating through the skin. Her eyes remained closed, and I wanted nothing more than for her to open them.
"Dr. Lynch, you shouldn't be in here." Dr. Cooper stated, though she glanced at me with sympathy. Everyone either knew who Blake was or knew of her. They knew my girlfriend was the patient.
"Tell. Me. Now." I clenched my hands at my sides, resisting the urge to yell and punch anything in my sight.
She sighed, ripping off her gloves and allowing another doctor to take over. She pushed me aside, lowering her voice. "Ross, you can't be in here. We know you care about her, but you being in here will just distract us."
"Just tell me," I begged brokenly. "Grace, please." I could feel my hands trembling, my jaw doing the same.
She squeezed my arm, nodding slightly. "She has some internal bleeding, her ribs are fractured, and her arm is broken. We're gonna take her up for a CT to check for any brain damage." I could merely nod, absorbing the information. "Does she have any family we need to call for?"
"I'll do it." I whispered. I moved past her, my eyes never wavering from Blake. I grabbed her uninjured hand, ignoring all the doctors as they worked on her. A tube remained down her throat, allowing her to breathe, and I blinked rapidly to stop any tears from falling. I knew I needed to get out so they could take her to CT, but I was afraid to move. Would she code in the elevator? Would she flatline on the table and never get a rhythm back. I couldn't lose her. I just couldn't. "You're gonna be okay, Blake. You're gonna be fine, I promise." I kissed her temple, forcing myself away as they wheeled her out of the room.
And right in the middle of the now empty trauma room, I broke down.
~*~
I truly never imagined myself on the other side; the side where you sit and sit and wait for answer on your loved ones. I was always the one giving the answers, not begging for them. I now understood what family members went through.
I fiddled with my fingers, glancing down at the floor as I waited for Morgan to arrive with Jess. Our conversation was still fresh in my mind, and her sobs echoed in my head. She had promised to get here as soon as possible, and I hated that she had to come here at all. That bastard that decided to drive drunk deserved to rot in hell. How was it that he managed to get away with a few scrapes and bruises, yet Blake was fighting for her life.
Thank God the bastard was in police custody.
"Ross?"
I glanced up, Grace coming my way with a surgical cap dawned on. I immediately got to my feet. "What's going on? How is she?"
"She's being prepped for surgery right now." She replied. "I just wanted to come and let you know. The CT results showed that she has a brain bleed with a bit of swelling, so that's the main concern right now. Shane's going to perform a craniotomy and deal with the bleed while we take care of the internal bleeding. Her spleen was ruptured due to the crash, so Finley is gonna do a splenectomy."
I sat down, a wave of dizziness crashing down on me. This was all too much.
Grace sat down beside me, placing her hand on my shoulder. I looked at her through teary eyes. "She's going to be okay, Ross. She'll pull through."
"You don't know that." I choked out. "Anything could happen during surgery. She could stroke out, or Shane could lose control of the bleed-"
"That won't happen." She cut in gently. "Ross, stop thinking like a doctor right now. Stop analyzing different scenarios. I know it's hard, but try. Now, did you call her family."
"I called her friend who was babysitting her daughter tonight." My heart clenched at the thought of Jess. "She's gonna call her parents. I haven't even met them yet and I don't want to be the one to break the news."
She nodded, getting to her feet. "Okay. I'll keep you updated." She squeezed my arm one last time before walking away.
I managed to suck in one, shaky breath before my name was being called once again. I barely had time to react before little arms were being thrown around my neck. I willed myself not to cry as I held Jess, slowly standing up and allowing her head to be buried in the crook of my neck.
Morgan slowly made her way over, her eyes red and puffy, and her cheeks stained with tears. No pleasantries were exchanged, and all she did was wrap her arms around my waist, using my shirt to muffle her sobs. That was enough for me to let a few tears leak out, the tiny water droplets landing on her head.
"How is she?" She pulled away moments later, wiping her eyes. "I called her parents and they're on the way. They should be here tomorrow morning."
"She's in surgery right now." I answered, running a hand through my hair. Jess was silent, but I could feel her tears landing on the skin of my neck. "They're main concern is the brain bleed and swelling, but they also have to remove her spleen. One of the surgeons is gonna keep us updated."
She nodded, sniffling and wiping her nose with the back of her hand. "I-I'm gonna go to the bathroom." She hurried away before I could utter a word, though her sobs were clear as they echoed.
I sat back down on the chair, Jess curling herself on my lap and burying her head in my chest. "Jess," I softly rubbed her back, coaxing her to look at me. When she did, my bottom lip trembled. Her little cheeks were stained with tears, and new one's continued to replace them. "Honey, mommy's going to be fine."
If only I knew for sure.
"I-Is mommy gonna die?" Her bottom lip mimicked mine, quivering as tears rolled down her cheeks.
I shook my head, though it felt like I was telling a lie. To Jess and myself. I wiped her cheeks gently, leaning in to kiss her forehead. "Mommy's not gonna die. The doctors are going to fix her just like I fixed you." I couldn't stop myself from hugging her back against my chest, as though that would be reassurance for the both of us.
She's gonna be okay. She's gonna live. Please let her live.
I can't lose her.
~*~
Sad chapter, I know, and it might be sad for a while. Let me know your thoughts!
