conflicts|mgc

part 4

song for this chapter is joji-medicine
i love this song and i feel like it fits this book because it makes me really sentimental and happy at the same time so yeah enjoyyyy

also please rate and comment, don't be a silent reader

*forward 1 month*

luna's pov

i have been talking to michael all day, everyday for over a month now and i never want him to leave again. he's asked me so many times to meet up since we found out we both live in sydney, but i always have to turn him down. everytime i recall what i'm doing to him by catfishing him, the thought alone eats me alive. i need to tell him. but i can't. he'll leave me. who wouldn't to be honest, everyone leaves, don't they?

i snap out of my thoughts and remember that eventhough i was going through a crisis i'd still have to go to school. i walk to my car which i bought last week with the money my grandma had saved up for me. i'm so in love with the thing. it's an old black jeep but it has a look to it that makes it priceless to me. i get into the vehicle and start driving. i get on the freeway. i hear a loud noise. i try to scream but no sound comes out, only a quiet whimper, like when you cry but you don't want anyone to know. flashing lights in front of me and lastly and so suddenly, black.

i open my eyes to a completely white room. it's way too bright. i squint and try to adjust to the light, the smell ,the noises. where am i anyway? how did i get here anyway? the more i try to think, the less i remember, at least it feels like it. i finally fully open my eyes to see my mom walk in. she has tears in her eyes but as soon as hers meet mine she smiles brightly and walks over to me at a rather fast speed. "how are you, honey?" she asks me. how am i? well... i don't know. "okay, i guess. what happened?" she nods and looks at me in a really weird way. "luna, you were in a car accident. it wasn't your fault though, it was some guy drunk driving that hit you." "oh." my mom looks to the ground and it feels like she's hiding something from me. "are you okay?" i ask her. "he's here. do you... do you want to see him? the guy that hit you?" i'm taken aback. do i want to see him. i mean he didn't kill me or anything. apparently i just broke a few ribs or something. "sure." i answer, a little less confidently than i had wanted to. my mom nods, flashes me a small smile and leaves the room. after a minute or two she comes back, a guy following her and then she leaves again. i can't quite make myself focus on his face in the neon light of the hospital room. i hear him talk. "i'm so sorry for hitting you, like i really am, it was totally my fault. i was drunk and sad and lonely and-" "it's fine. i'm alive okay? it's fine." i chuckle but immediatly stop as my eyes adjust to the light and i can see his face clearly. fuck. no, no, no, this can't be happening. he looks at me weird. "are you alright?" i stay silent. that's the guy that i've been talking to for over a month. that's the guy that i made fun of when he failed to dye his hair blue and it came out green. that's the guy that i'm falling in love with and lastly he's the guy that i've been catfishing. and he doesn't know. he doesn't know that i'm the girl he's been texting so much. that i'm the girl that all of his friends make fun of him for talking about her so much. he doesn't know, eventhough i'm right in front of him. i suddenly start to worry. why did he drink and drive? it wasn't because of me right? no, it couldn't be. "wh- why did you drink and drive?" i quietly ask. he looks so hurt and vulnerable now. not like in the pictures, smiling. he has band aids all over his face and puffy, red eyes. from crying i assume. but why? "i, uh... i know it's super irresponsable and stuff but i've had a lot of shit going on in the past while. i've been talking to this girl and i think i might be in love with her but i don't think she feels the same way. everytime i ask her to meet up she always has a new excuse ready and i just don't know what to do and- oh my god, why am i telling you this? i am so sorry, you should not feel sorry for me, it was my fault." my eyes start to water. so it was my fault. i get my face to form a small smile. "it's okay, i'm sure she really likes you too. sometimes people just have inner conflicts that make them not see what's right in front of them, what they're risking to loose." he looks at me like i'm insane but soon smiles at me. he looks so small and out of place. he only deserves what angels get. not this, not me. "thank you." he says. he leaves the room and joins my mom in the hallway. the door closes and so do my eyes. i let it all out. what have i done?

A/N

sooooo that happened

i hope you guys liked it and if you did please leave a comment, it would make me really happy

i also plan to always add some kind of chill songs to the following chapters that you can listen to while reading

i'm also really sorry for not updating regularly at all, i'm really trying but when you're a hardcore procrastinator it's really hard

but yeah i hope you're ready for some drama between michael and luna (get your tissues ready we gon get real sad up in here)