Innocence

Chapter 5

The next day I decided to sit with Jesse and Bug again for lunch.
"Good afternoon, Olly." I said as I sat down, looking at the empty space next to me.
"Hi Bell." Jesse said.
Bug nodded to acknowledge my presence.
Jesse started mumbling to himself again. I shifted my eyes to my tray of chicken tenders, starting to second guess my decision to come back. They were weird. Bug didn't eat. She just clung to Jesse's arm. It seemed to comfort Jesse. Bug was wearing the same kind of childish clothes she had been wearing the day before.
"I don't know, Olly!" Jesse shouted, almost angrily.
"What's the matter?" I asked.
"Olly asked about a thousand times if Parker would sit with us today. I told him I didn't know."
I shifted in my seat, uncomfortably. "Parker isn't here." I whispered.
"I saw him." Jesse accused.
"He isn't here, Jesse." I was already on the verge of angry tears again. Jesse was infuriating.
"Yes, he is!" Jesse screamed.
"Jesse, stop." I cried.
My hands flew over my eyes to hold back the tears. I never wanted to hear Parker's name again.
Jesse's voice dropped to a whisper. "He's right behind you, Bell."
I couldn't resist the urge to look up. There was nothing but air behind me. I felt a tear fall down my cheek as I turned to face Jesse again.
Jesse was looking off into space, almost as if he wasn't there. He shook his head and looked me in the eyes with worry.
"Bell, Bell, don't cry. I'm right here where I've always been."
"No!" I screamed at Jesse.
I got to my feet and stormed out of the cafeteria, leaving my lunch and my backpack behind. It all happened too fast. Where had Jesse heard that phrase? Was Parker really there, trying to communicate with me, but only Jesse could see him? What was real? I knew I'd gone too far with that last question, but my mind raced and tears streamed from my eyes.
I ducked behind the bathrooms and sat down on the pavement. I pulled my knees to my chest and cried into my jeans. I didn't care if I missed class. I just wanted to curl up and cry. Maybe this was how Parker felt, but why?
A hand tightly gripped my shoulder. I didn't look up. I heard something drop to the ground and then heard the person side their back against the wall until they were seated next to me. They released their grip. Bug probably felt bad and chased after me to apologize for Jesse. I would tell her that it was fine and hoped she went away.
"It's fine, Bug." I whined.
"Oh, it's obviously not fine." It was a voice I didn't recognize. They didn't speak sarcastically or smugly. It was more sympathetic and caring. I had a pretty good guess as to who it might have been.
"It's okay," They said after I didn't respond. "I'll just sit here until you're ready to talk."
I took my chances at guessing. "Go away, Duke."
"Oh Bell. Don't be like that. I want to know what's wrong, but I think that I already know the answer."
"I already asked you to go away."
"It was more like a demand."
"So leave!" I shouted, finally pulling my head up to look at him.
I was in no mood to deal with him.
Duke grabbed my hand and pulled it to his chest, looking at my fingers. I tried to pull away, but his grip was too strong.
"Stop!" I begged.
He sat there, quietly, but didn't look me in the eye when he spoke. "I miss Parker too."
I jerked my hand away and he let go.
"I don't want to talk about it." I mumbled.
"Fine." He said. "I was just trying to be nice. If you ever need someone to talk to, I won't hold a grudge."
With that, he stood up and walked away without looking back. The thing he had dropped earlier turned out to be my backpack. I pulled my backpack into my lap and buried my face into it. I skipped all of my afternoon classes to sit behind the bathrooms, away from anyone to see. When the final bell rang, I got up, and walked home.