Occisor

5- Insides Crying 'Save me Now'

 Why does this world have to resort to violence? Why are we breed to hurt others in order to protect ourselves?

We were at standoff. The man was probably in his late forties, but the bags and weary face could betray his true age. My handgun looked weak compared to his semi-auto rifle. The scary part was not the gun pointed at us. It was the look in his eyes. A cross between fear and desperation, the look a rabbit has when it is cornered. Fear and desperation also breed into insanity and irrationality.

"Get on the ground." he commands, waving his gun at all three of us. We all slowly kneel down, eyes transfixed on the deathly machine in his hands.

Just then, Jessica comes trampling thought the bushes asking us if we are done yet. Stopping in paralyzed fear, she starts mumbling nonsense at the scene in front of her. "You too Princess, on the ground." She obeys, whimpering in the process. "Now, I need all your supplies; money, weapons, food, water, and anything else."

"Look sir," Alex starts, "we mean no harm, we just want to-" he is cut off by A.J approaching the scene.

The man swivels his riffle to point at A.J chest. "All your supplies. Now." He demands, insanity glimmering in the light that's pouring through the thick canopy. Alex slowly gets up and grabs each of our packs, careful not to make any sudden movements. While everybody is watching the gun or Alex, I am watching the man. His hand starts shaking as Alex comes over, and soon he is full on sobbing. He laments about his lost wife and children, how he has no purpose in this world. Of course we feel bad for him, but he still has his finger on the trigger and now he is unstable.

Then suddenly he looks me in the eye. "I am going to do you all a favor." The hysteria is at its peak. "You are too young to go on the rest of your lives like this. I will take you out of this misery filled hell."

And then he shoots.

A.J body crumples.

A hollow whimper escapes from my lips. I see his body fall against the dirty leaf-filled ground. There is another gunshot but I ignore it. A.J is soon in my arms. He mouths thank you and starts to reach in his pocket. He never finishes what he was about to reach for. In fact, he will never finish anything ever again. I watch his eyes as the last flicker of life leaves, the last breath escapes from a bloody gentle mouth.

I can see it clearly now. The inside of his arms are lines with slits now scared over, each one holding a story he will never tell. I never knew. Nobody knew. How were we supposed to know he cut? That he was depressed? That he never talked because he was too full of his own self-harming thoughts too comprehend a conversation? It made sense now. But it's too late. He is gone, and is never going to come back.

My everything hurts. The tears stopped, there is just a hollow rancid feeling inside of me. The inside of my lips are bloody from biting them so hard, my fingernails torn away from digging into the frost bit ground.

Alex finally picks me up, I have no idea how much time has passed. He slings A.J's limp body over his shoulder. He looks so much more fragile and small now. We leave the older man to rot in the cold. His mouth open, eyes staring up into the unseen sky. He doesn't deserve a burial.

Walking back into town, I go inside the first house I see. I walk through the hallway, pictures of a happy young family stare back at me. A mother and father pushing a little boy and tiny girl on swings at the local park. In every picture, I see the tiny girl holding a small purple bear. As I make my way to the back room, numbness spreads over my entire existence. I want to sleep. Forever. It was almost a comforting feeling, but I grabbed the gun on my belt. Standing in front of the mirror, I held the death machine to my heart. There's voices in the background, but my thoughts are too busy clouding my head to make sense.