After School

Sunflower

"D-Don't come near me!" She was almost shouting.

To her content, Kaori halted in her advance. Feeling embarrassed yet obligated to continue, Mae squeezed the railing tighter and let her quivering voice carry on. "I'm disgusting...aren't I?"

She didn't allow the older girl anytime to answer before continuing, "Girls falling in love with other girls isn't normal, but...before I knew it. I had feelings for you. They were just admiration at first, I think, but after a while, every time I saw you or thought of you, my heart went crazy and I got really nervous around you..."

Ivory teeth sunk into her bleeding lip. The pressure pushed the blood from the corner of her lip and caused it to trickle in a small stream down her narrow chin. The wound stung, but her heart hurt more. She wasn't sure if she should continue. Something was driving her trembling lips though...

"That's why..." She tried again, her voice barely a whisper. "That's why...It's okay if you hate me and don't want to be around me anymore...."

Another silence came over them again. That was all Mae could say; all she needed to say. Her bloodied lips were melded together now, straining to keep from opening up to project a sob. She wanted to run away off the roof, but Kaori was still in her path. Could she even face her again after all this? Tugging at her skirt with a hand, she finally pushed off the railing with the other hand to propel herself into a running sprint.

"Goodbye, senpai!"

The small girl bolted for the doors. She couldn't even remember if she passed her senpai or not; if she even looked up or what her face looked like. But all of a sudden, there was a light, halting presence on her wrist. She couldn't move. Her blood froze in her veins. The exhaustion from before; her anemia and the bleeding wounds on her knees; they all desired to take over at the restricting touch and make her sag to ground. She tried to keep them tense as to not collapse, making them shake slightly again.

"Akoki-san..." Kaori's voice was soft. She didn't sound upset, just out of breath. Mae wondered what kind of face she'd see if she turned back. "I...don't hate you."

When Mae didn't answer, she sighed, her grip loosening a little. "I was surprised...when you told me... It was really sudden, and it shocked me. Girls liking other girls... You're right, it's not normal... Even at an all-girls school like this..."

The trembling girl felt like the words were weighing down on her. She didn't even know if they were positive or negative... Her cluttered mind couldn't process them. She wasn't sure if she could feel the weight on her wrist anymore. Did Kaori find her disgusting? She hadn't officially addressed it yet, but Mae's conscious was an enigma of negativity right now.

"Akoki-san." She heard again. "Akoki-san, please look at me."

"..." The small girl didn't obey.

"Mae, please."

Mae's eyes widened upon hearing her first name. 'Kaori...said my name.' Slowly, she forced her body to turn around. Every fiber felt like it was quivering and resisting. Her stomach felt knotted. Before she realized it, she was staring at the large white ribbon of the uniform. It had two black stripes on the right side and a metallic gold one on the left. It was the ribbon of a senior; a third year. One who would be graduating in the spring. Her senpai. Her fragile body shook with a quiet sniffle. The droopy, honey-gold eyes clung to the ribbon. What would she see if she looked up? Anger? Disgust? Disapproval? Her mind swirled. No. She shouldn't be scared. She'd have to take whatever she'd see, even if it wasn't satisfying. Drawing in a shaky breath, she clenched her small hands...and looked up into the face of the older girl.