I feel bad...like I try to be ok and I noticed now how much I hurt others..they deserve someone better than me. They all do. I can't be that shoulder for them anymore simply because I was left alone with my own pain and no shoulder. I wish I wasn't this way, I wish I could make my depression and anxiety about everything disappear, but I can't. And it sucks because I push and hurt those closest to me. I cause them pain that they don't deserve. I wish I could tell them how sorry I am but I can't..I don't know why but I just can't. I wish I could change so many things but my mind won't allow me to change. I didn't want to be this way, I want it to all stop. But it doesn't work that way, 2 yrs of knowing what was wrong with me and 0 recovery. To anyone who I've hurt who reads this...I'm sorry. I really am. I sorry that I can't be the friend you want or need. I'm so so sorry.
