"You're really not interested in anything?" he asked after I told him this.
"Not anything that I can make a career out of, unless you call sitting at home watching Netflix a career," I laughed.Drew didn't laugh. We walked in silence for a bit and I began to fidget. I bummed him out, stupid.
"But I've still got two years behind you before I have to make any decisions," I tried to sound optimistic.
"True," Drew nodded. "So do you have any plans about living then? Do you want to move to the city and work there or something while you figure it out?" he asked. I shrugged again.
"I don't really think the city life is for me. So many people," I mumbled the last part. Drew glanced sideways at me but I didn't meet his gaze. I tried not to let it show, but what happened on my thirteenth birthday still effected me in ways.
"Yeah, me either," Drew sighed, pretending not to hear that last bit.
"Why not? You're probably going to have to live therefor a bit anyway for Uni."
"I'm hoping to avoid it. It's only an hour away by car so I'm gonna try to commute and then if that doesn't work I'll try and crash at a friend's during the week or something and come home on weekends."
"That'll be so tough though. You're not going to have any time for anything else," I noted. Drew nodded again.
"I know, but it wont be so tough once I finish Uni and go into the field. I can get instated to the Hospital here and then it'll be easier," he said.
"Sounds like you've got it all planned out," I laughed at my own lack of plans. "But what about dating?" Do I want to hear the answer? Do I want to hear him say that he's open to hook ups while he's studying and then once he's a fully fledged Doctor he'll settle down with a pretty young thing and get married and live happily ever after?
"I don't know, I think I'm gonna give the romantic scene a break for a while," Drew sighed. My chest tingled with a tiny spark of hope. I reached a metaphorical boot into my chest and quickly stamped that spark out.
"Any particular reason?" I asked, trying to sound casual. Drew grinned and eyed me from the side.
"Like you said before, I'm not really going to have time for a relationship for a while," he chuckled. I bit my lip.
"But what if you met the love of your life?" I asked, unable to stop the words from coming out. "What if you walked into a bookstore tomorrow and the love of your life was standing right there? Would you walk away and miss the chance to ever be with them?"
"I don't believe in love at first sight," he laughed.
"But you'd never know then if she was the one because you're not dating anyone for a while so you'd never give them the chance to be the one. What if in ten years time you looked back and realised they were the one and you missed the chance to tell them?"I gushed. Drew watched me carefully, his brows knotting in the middle. I froze in place. Oh god, did I give too much away? Did he connect two and two and reach my feelings for him? I quickly tried to change the subject.
"Oh well, you're decision. There's probably more than one person in the whole world for us out there anyway right,theoretically speaking. Heaps of people get married twice or three times and stuff like that. I wonder what my mum's making for dinner..." I trailed off. Drew didn't say anything for a while after that. And after that I began to feel sick right down in the pit of my stomach. Anxiety welled up in me from his silence. What was worse was it was really starting to get quite cold and dark now.
We rounded into the end of our street and Drew spoke up again.
"I guess, if I met someone and I thought they could be the one, I'd have to be open to it. I wouldn't want to look back and realize I'd missed out," he said solemnly.
"Right," I replied. More silence. Drew's house was actually opposite mine, so out the front of his house I crossed the road with my bike. I didn't look back or say goodbye, and Drew didn't call out after me.
I walked to the gate and let myself through, taking my bike round to the back of my house. The house was dark, so my mum probably wasn't back from visiting my aunt in the city yet. I put my bike away and tried the back door. No good, it was locked. I checked my phone as I headed around to the front. I had a message from my mum, my phone must still be on silent from work.
Staying the night. Susan's still really ill. You're right to get yourself dinner? Xxx
I quickly replied that I was 16 now, I was old enough to feed myself, and reached for my keys as I put my phone away. Keys,keys, where were my keys? I searched every pocket on my person, then all through my backpack. I dumped all the contents onto the front patio and rummaged through everything. No house key. I had my bike lock keys, I had the shop keys, but no house keys. Fuck, and mum wasn't coming home tonight. We didn't keep a spare key out, mum was too paranoid that someone might find it and break in, so we both carried keys. Which works most of the time, but I'm an idiot who loses important things.
I glanced across the road to Drew's house. The driveway was empty, his parents weren't home yet. Mum had given Drew's family a spare key in case of emergencies. Was this an emergency? It was cold, dark, and if I didn't go over there and get the key I'd be spending the night in the shed next to my bike on the concrete floor.Fine, it was an emergency. I plucked up the courage and crossed the street. I was starting to shiver a little down my bare arms.
I walked up to Drew's front door and lifted my hand to ring the doorbell, but froze. So awkward. I closed my eyes and pushed the button to ring the bell, then waited.
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Stay tuned for next Thursday for chapter two. :P
Mouki out~
Pity Party - One
Почніть із самого початку
