The Juxtapose Accentuation

The Cognizance Track-way

Vanessa's sobs stopped. For a moment, Sheldon thought he upset her and tried to scoot away, but then moved closer again and rested her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around him. The position only reminded him more of Amy and that time she practically begged for him to comfort her. He just felt bad remembering that night. It makes him feel bad all the time. There's just so many things that he could've done better with Amy, but didn't. So much for being brilliant minded. He rested his cheek on top of her head. They remained like that for a while, no one dared to break the silence. Sheldon eventually wrapped his arm around her, too.

"Her name is Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler. She's working at Caltech right now, but she used to be with UCLA. She's a neurobiologist, you know, people who study yucky, squishy stuff," he said, laughing as he finished. He just looked ahead, replaying the first time he met Amy and the days that followed that. All the texting, Skype-ing, emailing and the dates that followed after the first four months, after Penny's insistence. He missed those days.

"She likes monkeys; I like them too, but she's more into them. She dresses modestly, but I've always liked her style. Her hair is the color of mud and has always been straight, see she doesn't usually make a big deal of spending too much money or time on improving her looks. Some may taunt her, but honestly, I don't see what's wrong with that. She's perfect, just the way she is," he said, regret dripping in his voice. He never had the chance to tell her that when they were a couple. "She tried, I think, several times in an attempt to get my attention. At the time I thought she was just being silly. I never needed her to dress up. Her brilliant mind, paired with her humor and her bright green eyes... really those are enough to get my attention. I guess I just failed to show her that she's always been enough," he continued sadly.

Vanessa finally detached herself from him and looked at his face. He had a sad smile and a distant look. He was obviously remembering his times with the woman in question. She felt sad for him. He looked like a sweet guy, but she had her hunch that he wasn't the type who likes showing emotions. Based on how much he didn't like to share what's been bothering him since Thursday, she was surprised that he's talking now. He looked up at her and she nodded, urging him to speak again.

"I took your advice and asked her to go to the zoo with me. Well, not at first, but she offered to go with me so I agreed. We had a good time; it was like when we were just starting to get to know each other. I thought 'well that went well', I can live with just her friend if this is how things will be. At the end of the day, I got a call from her. She told me she was ready to be my girlfriend again."

"What did you tell her?" she asks.

"I said I just want to be her friend," he said, looking down and sighing.

"Can I ask why?" she asks again.

"I honestly didn't know why at first. But in hindsight, I think it was because I got scared. She's my first girlfriend; my first kiss; my first... love," he reveals.

This was probably the biggest surprise to her. He's handsome, brilliant and an altogether nice guy. How he never had another girlfriend was beyond her. She tried to hide her astonishment, but it was futile because her mouth got the words out before she could filter her question, "So you've never been with anyone else before? Like at all?"

He looked at her with furrowed brows, confused why she was repeating what he just said. "Yes," he answered.

"So, forgive me for asking such a personal question, so she's the only one you've ever... you know, done it with?" she asks, curiosity getting the better of her.

"What do you mean done it with?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.

Vanessa didn't know if he was feigning innocence, but thought why he would do such thing, so she elaborated, "You know, sex?"