(FINISHED)Chim - Stop Crying Your Heart Out Of

Chapter 45

A/N: all the bit about happiness and being scared about it, I've taken from my own experiences, so it may be quite crap because I got emotional while writing so I'm apologizing in advance :P

Enjoy x

Chapter 45

Cheryl's POV:

I stormed off upstairs and just curled into a ball on the bed and cried. I had been trying to stay positive, but now I just don't know. People would complain about me being negative a lot or not liking the fact I was depressed...and now that I try to block the bad side of things out and carry on... I get complained at as well. It's like a constant battle between my brain and my heart. It's as if I can't ever be happy, because when I am happy, there is ALWAYS something bad to ruin it. It's like a fact...well not like one, it IS one. I feel sometimes that I should be scared of being happy because something comes along and ruins it. A lot of the time I feel like a person walking around with a question mark above their had...debating on how to feel. Fearing to be happy, but not wanting to be sad either. This pregnancy was supposed to be a happy beautiful thing, now here I am crying my eyes out into the pillow. Mascara racing down my cheeks and both the babies kicking me. And that's when it really hits me. They both may be kicking now, but what if in 4 months.. there is just one baby kicking? What if.. I never feel those 4 legs again? What if the baby does have difficulties in life? Or even so... the worst thought of all... what if the baby does die? How would me and Kimberley cope... looking at the other baby, telling her about her sister...

My sobs grow louder as the thoughts race through my mind, my heart physically aching from all the crying, my eyes sting, the tears are like poison to my eyes. Footsteps approach the bedroom door and there's a soft knocking coming from the other side. I ignore it and just carry on crying. I really don't want to talk to anybody right now, I just wanna be left alone. There literally is no point in being positive about things anymore because these kind of things happen.

"Chez, please. Let me in... I'm sorry" I hear Sarah say from the other side of the door while still softly knocking.

"Chez?" She's crying now. I feel bad... but I'm crying my own tears, they're so powerful that I can't actually get any words out of my mouth.

She must have walked away because it went silent and the only sounds the could be heard was my crying. What had me and Kimberley done to deserve this to happen? Why? Is it like we're a magnet for bad things? They always come to us... I wouldn't wish anyone else to be in this situation.. But I just wish it wasn't me Kimberley and one of our babies that has to go through this.

I sunk my head further into the pillow and just kept crying.

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Sarah's POV:

A huge pang of guilt flung through me. I didn't realise how much it meant to Cheryl to stay positive about it. And now I've made my best friend cry her eyes out and I just don't know what to do. I tried to talk to her but she just kept crying.

I walked back downstairs hanging my head looking at the floor... I've never felt so guilty about anything before, I've really done it this time. Now probably everyone hates me and its my fault. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so open...and sharing my thoughts without thinking before I say, because this is the kind of trouble it gets me into. To be honest I wouldn't be surprised if Cheryl never wanted to speak to me again, I was way out of line.