This is a musical based off the song parodied in this script
Noah and Joel sitting in desks onstage reading books.
Joel: Done!
Noah: Yeah right, your bookmark is still in the 6th chapter.
Joel: You're just jealous that I'm better. Do you know why?
Music cues in as Joel rises from seat
Joel: (musically) anything you can do I can do better! Everything I do is better than you.
Noah: No it's not
Joel: yes it is
Repeat ending by singing three together
Noah rises from seat
Noah: well anything you can be I can be greater! Sooner or later I'm better than you.
Joel: no your not
Noah: yes I am
Repeated likewise to the first
Joel: I can do division in a single minute
Noah: I can write a story. Yours will always bore me.
Joel: I wrote ten tests in a single day!
Noah: and you got good grades?
Joel: yep
Noah: I got them in spades
Because everything you have done I've done it better! It's no use fighting when you know it's true.
Joel: no it's not
Noah: yes it is
Repeat disagreement
Joel: well I can sing better!
Singing fight until music is cut of by Megan, who is reading beside them in a desk
Megan: SHUT UP!
Joel and Noah pause, look at each other, then approach Megan. Music starts once more
Both: anything she can do we do it better! What ever we do it's better than her
Joel: that is true
Noah: oh, quite true
Agreement like the disagreement earlier
Both: and anything she could be we could be greater! Simple as that she's no match, for sure
Joel: yes we are
Noah: yes we are
Agreement the same as before except last line of agreement and music is cut off by Megan
Megan: done! (Slams book and walks away)
Both boys stare at her leaving
Both:(slowly) whatever she does, she does it better. Quickly. Consistently...
Boys quickly turn and look at each other with an intense glare.
Both: (fast) Better than you!
