Cross My Heart // Harry Styles

75

So she was shocked, and sometimes she'd laugh at me, and then feel bad for laughing. She admitted that she had a feeling that when we BOTH said we'd messed around with a man before, that it might have been each other. Cause...why not? We were always together. We were close. And that probably, in a strange, sick way, made us closer in the long run. I dunno. It was...another experience we'd shared, really.

Of course she teased me that she'd never thought of us together before, but the thought sort of....intrigued her, ever since she found out it was a turn on for Emma. I told her she can have fun with her intriguing thoughts, and imagine us doing whatever her per.verted little heart desires, cause that's all it's ever gonna be. IMAGINATION.
She laughed and said "You wouldn't do that for me?"

"No."

"If I reeeeeeeeally wanted it?"

"NoPe."

"You don't love me enough? You said you'd do ANYTHING for me, ya know!"

"Except that. But nice try babe!" I chuckled.

"Not even if I was about to die and that was the only way you could save me?" she kept teasing, relentlessly.

"Then I'd fvck the SH.IT out of Tommo. Suck his co.ck like a fvckin' popsicle for you, babe."

She snorted, she laughed so hard, and that ended that conversation.

She went and got her phone and started looking stuff up. Starting with circle jer.k. (She's always one for learning all that she can!)
And there everything was, right there on her screen, on Wikipedia. "A circle jer.k is a sexual practice in which a group of men or boys form a circle and mas.turb.ate themselves or each other......Circle jer.ks are typically an experience of adolescents, teenagers, and college students..."......etc etc etc.....
I told her to NEVER mention it to Lou, because he'd probably freak if he found out I told someone. I've never told a single soul in my life about it until now. Of course, he probably told Emma if she happened to ask, so...

I wondered how he felt last night when we both got asked that question. He was probably freaking out. Not something we...advertise. But yet...some guys, do! Some guys openly admit they fucked around as a young teen. Yeah. I'll just keep my mouth shut, thanks. It's embarrassing. Not that there's anything wrong with it...

We finally got off the floor, and she said "I've decided that I will NEVER play truth or dare again".

I said "That's actually a good idea. It's actually meant for young teens. Ya know, kiss this person, oooooooh, kiss that person, ooooooh, have you ever been felt up, oooooh.......it's not meant for adults, with complicated sh.it going on, that's for sure!"

We got showered and dressed, and it was time for my meeting with Emma. I made sure a zillion times and studied Gwen's face each time, to make sure she wasn't jealous of our meeting up. She swore she wasn't. As long as we didn't kiss or anything, she joked. I assured her, THAT wouldn't be happening.

She kissed me and sent me off on my way.

The talk with Emma went well. Just listening to her talk, she did remind me a lot of Gwen. Obviously so different, but a lot of the same common things. Like their loyalty and willingness to struggle through to keep the one they love. And her honesty....I don't know if this was new for Emma or not, since Lou told her about the refreshing honesty, but it was nice.

She held onto every word I said, thinking it all over really deeply the entire time.

She had LOTS of good questions, and some of them, she asked more than once, because she just couldn't....fit the answers into her head.