Under Glass

Chapter 26- There's No Escape

"Thirty-five," Traylor said out loud as she ran her hand over her calendar. "Fifty-two," she whispered. The numbers swirled in front of her, she closed her eyes. She'd been so busy with work she'd just realized she'd missed her period.

"Fuck."

Her life was too perfect. She'd worked too hard to get where she was for this shit. It didn't matter how hard she worked, she couldn't escape her mother. She was turning into her mother. She was twenty-two, an engineer and now knocked up. "Fuck!" The planner hurled across the room into her bookcase sending frames toppling over.

We cannot escape what we were meant to be. She'd always operated under the assumption she could outrun the trailer. Traylor.

Bill would be good about her being pregnant, honorable even. He would force her quit her job and become "a mommy." She'd hate that and in turn hate him.

The door slamming broke her out of her thoughts. She'd just picked up a book that had fallen off the shelf when Caitlin came charging into Traylor's room. "I want a tattoo!" Caitlin yelled over Pearl Jam.

She stopped when she realized what song was playing and scrutinized Traylor. She pointed at her friend who was wearing a gray suit with a cream shell. Her shoes were kicked off and strewn across the small area in front of her bed.

"What's your problem?" Caitlin asked.

"What do you mean?" Traylor attempted to hide her emotions.

"I mean your face. What's with the face?"

"My face always looks like this."

"It actually hardly ever does, which is why I'm a little worried." Caitlin sinks into bed and lays down with her legs hanging off the edge of the bed.

"When are we going?" Traylor changed the subject.

Caitlin swooped down and picked up the planner. Traylor was meticulous about marking everything in that planner. If she lost it she'd be lost herself. "As soon as we get you a pregnancy test."

"Fuck," Traylor repeated.

"What's going on? I thought you and Bill were safe?"

"We are," Traylor answered.

"Did the condom break?" Caitlin was growing concerned with Traylor's obstinate silence.

"No!"

"Out with it." Caitlin flopped back down on Traylor's brand new Cherry Sleigh bed from Ikea.

"If you must know, it has nothing to do with Bill." Traylor conveyed the debacle to her best friend with just one look.

"WHAT! Shit...was this about a month ago when we went to Lulu's? You came home the next morning, but you didn't say anything happened."

"I don't remember if anything happened. I felt a little funny the next morning but didn't remember having sex."

"What?" Caitlin was so astonished she didn't know what to say. "I don't know what to say...Who did you end up with, that guy Tom?"

"Nope, the bill on his dresser said his name was David," Traylor muttered through her hands that were covering her face.

"You didn't know his name?" Caitlin couldn't help it a laugh pried itself out of her lips and exploded in the air. "Fuck, it's not funny. I'm sorry."

"I'm sure I asked him what his name was, but after a fish bowl of liquor I forget most things."

"You'll be fine."

"Easy for you to say..."

Caitlin didn't wait for her to finish her statement before she grabbed Traylor's purse and keys and dashed out of the room. "Come on, I don't like suspense."

********

Thirty minutes later they were scrunched in one of the bathroom stalls at a pharmacy near Little Five Points. In three minutes Traylor would know if one drunken night would change her life. This is where the truth of things change. Time is suspended for those minutes where you know things will turn right or left in your life.

You enter a surreal universe where you can see the end of things either way they go. You regret, you pray and you disbelieve this is actually happening to you. All of these things happen in those three minutes.

Caitlin tried to distract Traylor while they waited. She showed Traylor the sketch she'd had a friend draw for her tattoo. It was a butterfly flying as dancing flames licked at it's wings from underneath. The flames were angry reds and oranges in stark contrast to the mix of turquoise and emerald of the butterfly's wings.

Traylor smiled weakly at the sketch and the symbolism did not escape her as she stared at the one line forming on the stick pregnancy test.

"Thank holy fuck," Caitlin whispered.

Funnily enough Traylor could not form actual sentences her relief was so great. Tears streamed down her face.

"No, there's no crying. You should be doing a dance. Here..." Caitlin started moving from side to side and rolling her hips around in the tight space.

Traylor began laughing at Caitlin's antics. "Stop," she got out through almost hysterical laughter.

"Talk about dancing with danger."

"Thank you," Traylor whispered.

Caitlin started cleaning the debris they'd accumulated in the stall and putting it back in the bag. "Of course."

"My life flashed in front of my eyes. Frieda would've been proud to have a grandson." Her eyes turned dark at the mention of her mother.

Although she tried to forget Frieda, she was reminded of her every time she was introduced to someone. It never failed. "Like a double-wide?" Her mother told everyone the story behind Traylor's name. "It was simple," she would drawl. "That was where she was conceived." After she was born Traylor's dad had gone outside for a smoke, Frieda called the nurse in and filled out the birth certificate. Frieda had said she wanted her daughter to always remember where she came from. That was the fucking truth. She could never forget.

"Have you talked to her lately?" Caitlin opened the door of the stall and walked over to the sink.

"She called yesterday to borrow money." Traylor washed her hands and looked at Caitlin in the mirror. "You know she moved in with my grandparents, has a different boyfriend every week. I think she met this one at Wal-Mart the other day buying condoms."

"You're making that up."

"It could be true," Traylor shrugged.

"Well, now that we've dodged that bullet, let's go let someone permanently mark me with ink."