What goes around, comes around (editing in progress)

Confessions

Thranduil fastened his sword belt around his waist and eyed himself in the mirror. His expression was concerned; his appearance slightly aged. The king shook his head and walked out of his chambers. He had spent all of the previous day thinking. However, this had not changed much and he decided to take a walk. As he wandered along the path near the palace, Tinnueth's image kept haunting his restless mind. Although he was very much aware of the presence of other elves nearby, he tried to ignore them. He understood Legolas' desire to protect him and it amused him greatly that his son had believed that he would not notice the guards that the prince had ordered to protect the king. It annoyed him slightly, yet it gave him the chance to relax fully. To let his mind stray as far as it desired. He was free to withdraw his senses from the surroundings and concentrate on the things that mattered to him. He felt free and light.

Thranduil soon noticed that he actually felt like an empty shell. Never before had he experienced emptiness so vividly in his heart. A huge void which apparently consumed any positive emotion he felt. His life had been rather grey over the past few thousand years. Bereft of its color and beauty, his life had often seemed a burden to him. He had in fact accepted that this would never change. Yet Tinnueth had brought a glimpse of light into his darkness. First it had been weak and almost unnoticeable, an occasional flickering. But then it had steadily grown in strength. And with the growing size, it had become increasingly warmer and more beautiful. He felt its warmth in his heart at all times and was grateful that he was allowed to experience this.

And now he hoped that Tinnueth would accept him with all his faults. He was very much aware of the fact that many elves did not have a high opinion of him. He had left that kind of impression on them. And they had plenty of reasons to do so. But he had changed. And he was capable to love. But would Tinnueth see it?

He had spoken to Esteleth. She had told him that Tinnueth felt imprisoned in his realm. The king himself had heard stories of the elven settlements of the north. They were beautiful and peaceful. A heavenly place in comparison with his realm which had suffered greatly under the reign of darkness. He had often imagined Tinnueth leisurely stroll the forests there or swim in the rivers and ponds. What could Thranduil offer her? Nothing but a life restrained within his palace walls. He still had the support of Elrond and Celeborn who would aid him along with Galadriel with the cleansing of his forest. But would they prove successful? He had always despised the darkness in his forest. And now, more than ever, he wished to offer Tinnueth a safe and inviting home. Yet his realm was far from that. Any wild and haunted forest in Middle Earth was more beautiful and charming than his. What chances did he have of Tinnueth staying here?

Thranduil sighed deeply. If only he knew what was on her mind. He deeply desired to know how she felt now and especially what she felt for him. But he had not yet woken Tinnueth. She needed to rest. She still felt pain. Her body needed more time and rest to heal. He did not want to burden her with his request. Sleep was after all a good means to escape the unwanted. He did not ...

The king rolled his eyes in annoyance. There were so many excuses he kept telling himself, but the truth was that he hesitated to wake her up. He feared that she would reject him. He preferred to continue to live in the illusion that all might be well, and that she would agree to live by his side. Thranduil sighed heavily. This was not good. It did not help him. He should wake her and confront his fate. No matter what that would be.

Legolas was standing by the large gates, eagerly waiting for his father's return. A broad smile crossed his face when he saw him walking down the path, obviously deep in his thoughts. He hoped that his father had a change of heart. He knew about the conversation which Thranduil had with Tinnueth more than a day ago. And he also knew that he had not woken Tinnueth up since then. He comprehended his father's fears.